Justin's Army Adventures

May 27

2010-05-26T23:55:00.003-05:00

So Im still here, the temps running around 115 in the day, allot hotter in the trucks.
You get sick to your stomach its so hot, it drains you.
Ive been up for the better part of 4 days, work, BS, and just not being able to sleep when I can. I'm sitting around today, waiting for shit to happen, that's my job today, i wait, like a firefighter at a fire house waiting for a fire, but I'm a Combat Arms Soldier, and today its my job to wait, but I'm waiting for a different kind of fire, small arms fire, indirect fire, direct fire, that kinda fire, I wish someone would just fire me hehehehe. I'm tired, and I'm dirty and I'm ready to go home. Ive been doing this shit for a year now, its time for a break, its time for some real food, a real bath, some real sleep and some fucking peace and quiet, People here are like broken records just saying the same shit over and over and over, I wish they would just shut the fuck up for once. And today as i try to sleep the artillary is going off, so every 20 seconds or so it sounds like a dump truck just fell out of the sky and landed in your front yard. The windows sound like they're going to break, the whole little metal box I live in vibrates and rattles, the door just popped open on the last one. Not to mention its pretty much an involintary reaction for your heart to skip a beat every time one goes off, you know its coming but its so loud and chaotic you cant help it, outside your calm inside you flinch. Its weird.
Well I just wanted to say Hi, I hope i see you all soon. I just might make it home in one piece, who knows..I'm going out to stand in the 120 degree sun and listen to shit blow up, while i smoke and bang my head against the concrete bunker. Talk to you all later...........................
justin

Dam Its HOT

2010-05-23T05:15:00.002-05:00

Ok So Im still here, god, its getting really hot, we get up to about 110 in the day, mabey a bit hotter in some places. today at about 10am it was around 100, ahhhh its HOT!!!!
But Im almost out of here. I'm so close now I can taste it, or is that just all the shit in the air, maybe that's what I taste heheh. Every day seems to take so long, just drudging on and on, with the heat and constant stupidity.
I've also noticed a change in my level of fear, I know when we first got here, and you first go out side the wire, your nervous, you don't know what to expect, then things start blowing up, people shooting at us, you stay calm, you react, you do your job, but its a bit unnerving when you stop to think about what it is your actually doing, what it is that can actually happen. Over time you become numb to it, you don't care, you just do what you have to do without thought of consiquence. You do it over and over and over. Hundreds upon hundreds of times, we do things every day that would make most people petrified if you stop to think about what it is your actually doing, and a fair amount of shit that would make your asshole pucker, but eventually you laugh and tell jokes in the middle of it, you just don't care it just doesn't matter, you realize if its your time its your time there is nothing your going to do to stop it. You start out with good intent, and motivation, you end up with allot of hate and disgust, for every thing here, every one here. the country, the government, the people, the weather, the food, the job, everything, I hate these people, I hate this country, I have one word that describes my feelings towards Afghanistan, Genocide....
Now that Im almost done that feelings back, that fear, that realization that this shit is life and death every second of every day, and now that i have such a short amount of time it sucks, i want to make it out of this shit hole and get home.
I think before I may not have felt this way, maybe I still wouldn't have cared, but not now, I have to much back home not to not get back there. I have a life and a family and things I need in my life.
I have a woman I love and and a family I want to be with. I have things I want to do, I don't care about this country or these people, I care about my life and my people, my family my friends, and enjoying life with them.
And as far as the army goes, they can kiss my ass goodbye, I'm not putting up with this shit again and giving up precious time with my family and friends. I only get to do this once, I want to do it right, and being with people who love you and who you love is probably the most important thing you can do, spending time with them enjoying things you like to do. And as far as the army goes, yeah its just a job, a job that doesn't pay well, pretends to be really caring and concenrd for its employees when in actuality is not, a job that puts you in harms way daily, a job that puts you in contact with people you don't want to be around, a job that just aint all its cracked up to be, and as far as the army if it were a company in the civilian world, they'd have no fucking employees I can guarantee that..
NOW I say all this only after only having served in two aspect of the army, in basic training and in combat, ive heard garrison is worse, but hmmm i guess ill find out pretty soon , Ill be home and get to go home, ill be with the ones i love, maybe it wont be quite as bad. heheheh Hmm I dont know, I go back and forth on what I think about this job, somedays I like it, some days I hate it, all I know is i hate not being able to see my girl. and honestly wont do this again cause there's no way i could ever be away from her for this long again, its just way to hard for both of us.
I guess the truth is getting shot at aint so bad, not being able to be with my girl thats the hard part, putting up with all the bs aint to hard, being without her is hard. i guess thats the truth. I guess i just want to be with her, not here. Ive found someone I really love and want to be with, and I guess im pissed cause im here, and I dont want to spend another day without her, the jobs not bad, the time apart is bad, the things you see here arnt so hard to deal with, the things Im not seeing back home are the things that are hard to know im missing. Comming here opend my eyes to the way the world really is, i see it first hand how horrible things can be, but if i wouldnt have come to afghanistan I wouldnt have found danielle, so amid all the darkness and all the despair, i have found my light, i found what is truly important to me, I found my wife,
and now its time to fucking go home and spend the rest of it with her.
Im really really looking forward to getting my dam hairy monsters back too, fuck i miss my doggys, hehehhe:)
I need a beer and some shade and cool grass under a tree that actually has some dam birds in it, I want to swim in a cold river and i want to do some things im not going to put on here cuz as open as I am there are some things that just aint nun your dam buisness heheheheh, unless your danielle, then you know what im talkin about heheheh. :)
ok fuck I dont know, Im jsut ready to go.
well ill be home soon, so I guess ill keep you posted on dates when i can, not quite yet but well its soon, youve got more fingers than ive got days so there you go.
any way take care,
I love you all see you soon,
take care
justin :)

Hi everyone

2010-05-11T02:31:00.002-05:00

Ok, well im still here.
Its May 11 now and still counting down.
A year of this is way to long, about 9 months you really loose motivation and perspective, all the super dumb shit everyone pulls really just train wrecks about 9 months in and from there on out it is just seems to be so fucking retarded its unbalevable, this whole place is nothing but a bunch of egotisticle self centerd grown ass men who act like a bunch of little whiny snively little girls, holy fuck what a bunch of retards this place is full of, everyone knows better than everyone, everyone is bigger badder faster smarter done it more, done this better than everyone fickin no sence of friking any frikin thing heheheh " In an enviroment that is totaly based on rank structure and leadership what the fuck ever happend to the philosiphy of lead by example, i guess that shit flew out the window long ago, the army doesnt suck, i swear its the fucking idiots in the army that make it suck, holy shit, what a cluster fuck of stupidity this place is.....I hope to fuck no one from the army ever walks onto my jobsite back home, for there sake, cause i will chew them the fuck up. And If I ever run into any of them on the street halaluja for you good great fine get the fuck out of my way you dumb ass.....cause i aint buyin it and aint in the mood to listen to you try and sell it, my give a fuck is about down to none right now, god dam shit bags hheheheheehehheheheheh,

SORRY Just a little venting on my part and a little look into what is pretty much going though my head these days when Im not thinking about the one and only thing that really keeps me sain.....

And you know who you are ;)
hehehhe, yeah im talking about danielle, ;) it sure is wonderful to have you to talk to baby, you really keep me going everyday, the thought of you, wanting to talk to you wanting to get home to you really helps me get there and get over all the other crap that drives me mad, in the end none of that matters when i think about you and how much i love you and how much I know you love me ;)
Your a wonderful woman, and i love you so much, thank you for being there almost every dang day, your so good to me, I love you :)

And on that note, I cant stop thinking about comming home to my family and friends, dogs and a cold beer, green grass and a fisin pole by the creek...prety much looking at around 40 days right now give or take you never really know with these butt fuckers i swear it wouldnt suprise me if we were half way accross tha atlantic and they turnd the dam plane around to come do some frigins stupid shit back here, it really wouldnt suprise me one dam bit. :) hehehheheheh
Well i gota go, another mission starts again.. over and over and over and over and over and over the stupidity just rolls on :)

well i sure miss you all, and cant wait to get home and see a few of you,
especially well the 5 or so people who actually read this heheheh, jason, mom, morgan, mac and especially you danille, more than anything i cant wait to get home to you and the girls :)

Well Ill talk to you all soon, love you take care
justin

Its Dam hot again damit.

2010-05-02T04:00:00.003-05:00

Wow its hot as hell already, I guess the good part is that means im comming up on a year in this shit hole. woo hooo. Counting down the days till i get to go home, and the most important thing, counting down the days till i get to see my girls all five, and you to little bear, cant wait to see your bear tail heheheh, heheeh,::)
Time sure seems to be going so so so slow, every day takes so long, but one day at a time and im getting there. Just like basic training bla that sure sucked ass, i wouldnt wish that on anyone heheheh, or this for that matter but once this is done, i really think the hard parts over. I mean atleas in garrison its just training for a while no ones really actually trying to kill you hehhehe:)
I still havent made any decisions as to what all the army might hold for me yet, I got lots of other things to think about now, and allot of things that are just alot more important to me that I want to be around for and spend time doing than just continuing to fucking off in the army ;) Althogh im still pretty interested in a job as a special agent with the CID.
Well I got to keep this one short I guess, gotta go out on a patrol mission again tonight, whats new pretty much 6 times a week average for the last year iv been doing that, so what ever....
I really just came here to write today with one thing on my mind, and that is to say hi to my future wife, danielle, who for me really is already my wife were just waiting on the wedding part hehehe which im really looking forward to by the way :)
So Hi baby, just wanted to say I love you :)
Hope to talk to you soon, I hope you smile when you see i left you a little something here on the blog too heheheh, I know you like it :)
I love you,
I sure miss you baby :)
see all you other turkys soon,
God bless america, the greatest fucking country on the planet :)
scouts out :)

Im still here :)

2010-04-24T08:19:00.005-05:00

Guess what?
I'm still here, I guess in a way that's a good thing :)
Well its April 24th now, still just doing the same shit everyday.
It's getting closer I can feel it. It still feels like the day I get to go home is far away, but it feels so much closer now, by this time in 60 days I should not even be in this country. Then its back to Washington to work there and figure shit out.
At this point I really don't think Ill come back to this place, I think Ive had my fill of this shit hole.
But I have to say up to this point its been an eye opening experience, Ive seen things you never could imagine, and done things I don't think you could either. My heart goes out to many people in this country, but I just really don't think it matters, this place is too lost in chaos to really ever have a chance to grow and change, I think the people here are destine to live the shit life they were given, after being here, I really don't think that will ever change. No matter how hard we try, if the people here don't want to help themselves, there never going to leave the stone age behind. I don't blame them, I think there all victims of circumstance, and unfortunately the circumstances in this country that dictate the lives of the people here, suck ass. :) heheheheh.
Hmmm what else.
Rumor has it I'm supposed to be getting my promotions soon, Ill believe that when I get it heheheh;) I don't really care, but its more money that's cool, but it ain't much money, i tell you if you want money don't join the military they don't pay shit hehehe ;)
Well The Army sux, Afghanistan well it sux too, but I wouldn't change a thing cause there is one thing about all of this that made it all worth while and Her name is Danielle :)
Some how in the middle of all of this shit I found the woman I love and am going to marry heheh, how does that happen. :)
Well I'm not sure how, but I know if i wasn't here it wouldn't have happened, so in a way I think I am very lucky I chose to follow the path i did, as it led me to the beginning of the rest of my life with my best friend and wife heheh pretty cool :)
Well anyway that is by far the best thing that has not only happened to me here but pretty much happened to me in the last 38 years really So that's good :)
So when i get back My life is going to keep on changing :) for the better, I left home single and out to see the world, and After seeing all I think I need to see, I'm coming home to a full house, I'm coming home to a beautiful wife and two wonderful daughters, three big ass hairy dogs and a crappy new job, and well pretty much a completely new and different life heheh and wonderful life in the great state of Washington.:).
Well our plans are to be there for a few years and eventually end up back in Idaho, but no guarantees on that just yet :)
Well that's about it for now, ill write again in a few days if i can. not sure how many people read this anyhow heheh so I guess its really mostly just for me hehheh.
well anyway here are some pictures too,
Ill write again later heeh
hopefully ill be home soon, take care all :)

Easter Yea, heheh

2010-04-04T11:07:00.004-05:00

Well one good thing about this easter is i hope this is the last one i ever spend in Afghanastan, and away from my family.
Its a rough time now knowing how close home is now, yet we still got lots to do, and you cant let your mind wander to far, hodgie dont take no holidays and is always out there waiting for us. little stinky bastards. they really are a smelly bunch of people :)
Its starting to get hot here, again, which i guess is a good thing really it means well be going home soon, though im not really looking forward to 120 degree heat uughhhhh :(
it got cold here but never really got as cold as i thought it would, dont get me wrong it got cold but i just kept waiting for it to get allot colder, your skin would burn from the wind and cold but it never stuck to the metal, i thought it would i thought my skin would get so cold it would stick to the metal but it never got that cold.
I really would like to share some things that i've seen and done, but i think its best that i wait till im out of here, befor i start telling storys and shit talking you know what i mean hehehe.
I guess really though its a weird place.
It is really sort of like going back in time, its extreem poverty, in a way that people that know what poverty is, wouldnt understand what this is like, its dirty and rotten, its corrupt and its violent, its the land of extrem islam, its the land of masha allah, its lots of things, most of them in my oppinion not so good, if you look you can find those small things that make you smile or laugh but deep down the darkenss here overshadows the light, a small childs smile is always wonderful thing, big shinning bright eyes peeering through a little dust coverd face, happy and inocent, she is oblivious to the fact that she will be a victim of this society soon, theres that knowing that understanding inside me, that by the age of 14 this small child will have two kids and be some forty year old mans 4th wife, if she even lives that long, makes that smile fade in my mind, you smile back and you walk on past, thankfull your daughters will never know this kind of life.
Its Mad Max and a Bible story all rolled in one, people ride across the desert on donkys with there wifes in full burkas, with there caravans of camals and there goat herds tended by small boys, crossing the desert, nomads, and colorful tents, crazy villagies that pop up in the night, and then dissapere in a day, people everywhere digging for water, the life of the desert, more precious than most anything i suppose here exept guns or explosives, theres the whole crazy islamic militants, war lords, the religious elders and the mujahadin, afganie, pakistani, chechins, and uzbecks, and all the extremists with ther guns and explosives, private security forces, black water and spec opps solders, nato forces and the afgan army,border patoles, highway cops all stoned, all corrupt to some extent, and just pure crazynes, markets full of everything imaginable animal carcases hanging in the street, carts of rotting fruit and vegtibles, spices and strange plants, fabrics and beads, tin pots, and shit you dont even whant to know, all broiling in the hot thick smoke filled air, garbage and flys, the smell of piss and raw sewage, burnt garbage, packs of wild dogs and livestock that looks like the walking dead, people eveywhere filthy and smelly in there man dresses, sounds of trucks and buzz of motorcybles, the mosques calleing people to prayer five times a day, now and then the sound of small arms fire in the distance, its a weird place to be, a place where you see a man smile and dont know if he is happy to see you or happy cause he knows hes about to watch you die. Its a weird weird place to find yourself..

one of the things i guess i notice about me personaly is things that should scare the shit out of you, just become so normal, your perspective on whats normal becomes very skewd in a place like this.. things that would make most people petrified with fear become normal, you become aclimatized to shit you shouldnt really i guess.
But for the most part its not that bad, 95% of the time its compleet bordome, and the other 5% of the time is sheer terror heheeh, but i find it sort of sad and sort of sick i like the terror part the most, its an amazing adrinilin rush hehehe, i love hunting bad guys, but really we dont get to do much of that, mostly were bord watching sheep hearders or corrupt cops from a distance, spying, observing, reporting, documenting, searching, looking, driveing, sleeping staring off into space doing reconacence, wich isnt always doing cool shit..
we look for ieds allot thats pretty stupid heheheh there not like little fireworks there huge thigns that go boom really really big, when we accidently or purpously set them off whole sections of road dissapere, 25 feet long, 15 feet wide and 6 feet deep sections of road just pooof and gone heheheh rocks and shit flying everywhere, i like to stand there and watch and feel the concusion rock the vehicle and feel it on yoru skin as shit rains down, i like watching stuff blow up thats one fun thing we do LOL
Ther all sorts of ieds some are preasure plates and some are remote control and some are comand wire detonated, usually those ones are then followed by fuckers shooting at you. they can be made to blow up and disinigrate whole vehicles to little ones just big enough to blow your feet off, some are made of home made exploseives like ammonium nitrate/ fertilize imported/smugled from pakistan and some are old chinnese rockets or russian land mines, some are filled with nuts and bolts, its all sort of random and depends on who the target is. Ive seen ones so big that armord vehicles have been obliterated, and seen ones that hit little cars full of woman and children, ive seen them hit ABP trucks where the whole truck is gone but the people walked away, but not always allot of times they get trashed bad, those idiots hit them allot god there stupid people. lots of times they set them so a vehicle hits one then the vehicles that go to help will hit one or two, or the people that get out to help will step on them, then they jump out and shot rpg's and shot at you with small arms fire like ak-47s..
Sometimes sheep and dogs step on them thats pretty funny,, some times people step on them thats pretty bad, pretty really bad, and someitmes the fucks set them off while trying to implace them or tranport them or make them, thats really good stuff, especially when they dont die and then they want us to help them cause there all fucked up, jack asses :)

Happy Easter

2010-04-03T22:04:00.004-05:00

Well Its easter, supposedly a squadron stand down day, sure doesnt feel like it, I wonder why, oh yeah cause ive been on patrol since it started, well since yesterday at 1300 till just now, 0730, hopefully i can get some sleep for a while.
Not much happend today, Did counter IED patrols, basicly we look for ieds and secondary explosives on the roads and in culverts and try not to blow up in the process, then when we find them we blow them up, hwhehehehe, saw two nasty car wercks, and sat up all night on an OP (observation post) watching the afghan desert, highway 4 and lateral routs across the desert, and some ABP compound basicly looking for taliban inusgents who plant ieds attack ABP (afghan border patrol, or as i like to call them the afghan butt pirates)outposts and use lateral routs to move across the desert from pakistan to where ever in afghanastan, spinboldak, khandahar, kabul all sorts of places but to get there, where ever it is your going, you gotta cross the desert out here . eheheheheh whoopie, but no enemy contact and didnt find any ieds' so i suppose thats all good.
well that was what i was just doing, ill post a few older pictuers and then hit the sack
i will keep posting as much as i can and try to bring some stuff back up to speed and probalby recount some of the BS weve done in the last ten months....
kkk,
IM glad to see i have two new followers hehehe
What's up Mac..
And Hi Danielle, :) Yeah, my soon to be wife, heheh I love you Danielle Raye :)

Whats up my three followers heheheh:)

2010-04-03T03:46:00.004-05:00

Well I finally decided to start writeing again here.
Ill update with some good stuff in a day or so, right now i get to go back out on patrole across the afghan desert, it is the day befor easter and ill patrol into easter sunday, thats all we do is patrol the desert.. whooo hooo, Ive been here 10 months now and ready to get home. Lots of stuff has happend since i been here last.. Ill start to tell some here probalby tommorow when I get back from my patrol..
All I have to say right now is i am really really looking forward to gettin out of this shit hole county and getting back to america the greatest fucking country on the planet, and my family and friend, the only thing that keeps me sane here is knowing ill be going home to them soon. Trust me, its good to be an infidel heheheh :)
Well love you all, ill be back in about 24 hours to post some pics and start telling a few storys. I hope your all doing well, i miss everyone.
Take care Jusitn...................................................................................

2009-07-17T09:40:00.000-05:00

OH Yeah
Any one that wants can mail me at the address there below, i get mail and would love to hear from anyone:)
thanks
jusitn

2009-07-17T09:33:00.000-05:00

Hey all whats going on.
Got allot to tell, but not allot of time on the pc. got alot of photos, but no way to post them yet.
Im here in khandahar, have been here since the fourth of july
was also in khazakastan, romania and ireland for short periods of time, not long enough to see anything unfortunatly
will be leaving here shortly to get on with what we are doing.
this place is hotter than you can imagine, about 120 in the day, and it stinks to high heaven, it is pretty funny., its supper dusty, like walking on the moon.
It really sort of looks allot like the mojavie desert.
so far weve just been doing allot of training, maintinece, pt and getting aclimated to the climat..
lots of stuff id like to tell you all, but really cant at this point, only that it is defantly and adventure, and a crazy place to be for sure.
i will be takeing my leave in april, so will be home in ketchum at that time for any one interested.
well i cant talk long but will try to keep you all posted.
till next time take care, hope everyone is well.
scouts out
justin

Well, Im back to update.

2009-06-22T14:27:00.002-05:00

Well hey everyone how are things.
Sorry I havent been back in such along time.
Allot of things have been going on since i was here last.

I finally Got Out of Kentucky, boy that was a very good day.

I ended up going to stryker training that was pretty cool. their pretty awsom vehicles.

The day I got out of school, I went to Ft. lewis washington. Where I am currently stationd.

I ended up being with the 2nd infantry, 5th stryker brigade with the 8th squadron, 1at cavalry regimant. or 8-1 cav.

The crazy thing is that were now getting ready to deploy, so i got to go home for two days and will be going back to washington tonight to finish geting ready to go to afganastan.

I really cant tell you all what well be doing there, but what i can say is the next year is going to be very interesting if nothing else.

I will try to keep everyon updated as much as i can, and hopfully get some pictures of the country and things i see. I dont know how much internet i will have but i plan to keep a journal and up date when i can here.

We leave here next week, and i should be gone about a year. it seams like a long time, but who know maybe it will go by fast.

I got to see the girls here befor i left, and most all my friends back home. so im happy for that, it would have been nice to spend more time than just two days, but oh well two is better than none.

well i hope I have some interesting stories to post here in a while.
ill be in afganastan by next week. man that will be something else lol..:)

well i gotta run, hope you all take care.
glad i got to see most you all. until next time take care.

justin

Well here I am all graduated! Cavalry Scout with 2nd Infantry

2009-05-23T19:13:00.013-05:00

I guess I got allot of crap to catch you all up on, but i got to figure out how to work this dam page out heheheheh :)

well shit, i got allot of catching up to do, im here in louiville once again sitting in the brown hotel of all places with 8 other guys, all strykers headed for ft lewis, these are the guys im gona be with for at least the nest 2 weeks and probably longer.
there is actually 11 privats and 3 sargents going only 8 staying in this room heheheh.
processed into stryker skool friday, yesterday, should be pretty good. im looking forward to it now.
we are treated so much diffrent, like real people now what a amazing journy that last 16 weeks was, and to end up still here feels sort of like i died of heart failure on a run and im in purgatory heheheheh. walking, cleaning and liveing in the halls where just a short time ago there were so many of us, now only 14. its really radicle experince.
and here its pretty funny hanging in this smal room with these guys 8 dudes 8 laptops eveyone typeing away, what a bunch of tech junkies hwahahahhahahah :)
weve all been cutting loos a bit, its pretty cool, not something i would have ever forseen 16 weeks ago, or 2 weeks ago for that matter :)
well, i want to keep writeing, but i gotta get some food, be back to update on shit in a while.

Well the last few weeks have been something else, Im really happy to be done with OSUT, Im also a bit nervious about whats to come. everything so far has been pretty mellow, eat what we want, we have to pt, i do, a few guys dont, guys smoke chew pound energy drinks what ever, we moved baraks so looks the same i even got the same spot in the room, back right by the widow, i swear im in purgatory.
so I think i sent morgan a mail with the missing last few weeks, she may post it or not im not sure, i sent it out after she had left on her way to visit me.

i want to say thanks to her, none of this would be here without a whole lot of effort on her part, so THANKS MORGAN :)

so im still here at Ft. Knox til june five, then i am going to Ft lewis washigton as a straight ship, which means ill get there june five. that should be a fun day :) im the only fucker out of the whole company who opted to NOT take leave, what the fucks wrong with me?

wont have any word on what will happen in the future, rumors rumors rumors thats all you get, eating mushrooms in the dark!

as soon as i know ill let everyone know what im doing, im not speculating shit anymore, for one its pointles and 2ndly i dont want to jinx myself :)

I think i wrote in my letter to morgan that we did our final ruck, it was frigin 28k afterwords 98% of the troop was walkin around like a bunch of old broke dicks hahshahaha pussies all of em :) not every last one of em but dam near :)

that photo was taken by austen there outside olive theater where I graduated
nice photo dude, my barret is all wrinkled to fuck thanks hahahahhaha :)
the other photo is a pic i took of my unit patch, everyone has diffrent patches they wear to identify them, so everyone know who knows who eveyone else is, thats mine 2nd ID (infantry division) Ill get a 5\15 cav flash for my barett later this week, but then that changes when i get to ft lewis to what ever brigade ill be with. which I STILL DONT KNOW FOR FUKCIN SURE WHAT THAT WILL BE. My orders say 2nd brigade which doesnt exist! what ever...
anyhow you were your unit patch on your left shoulder, and on your right you wear the unit patch that you served with in combat last, i dont wear a patch on my right shoulder yet.

the flash on your barett is is sort the same sort of thing, well be weraing 5-15 Cav here for a 2 weeks then well get new ones in washington, not important just sort of trying to inform yyou all how some of this shit works :)

dam what else, i need to keep writeing, i forget, i stil have a jounal jull of reall fun crazy shit from basic that ill share some time but not yet, im not off ft knox just yet heheheeh :)

Scouts Out

Picture from BCT Graduation

2009-05-07T15:45:00.002-05:00

Lots of new posts

2009-05-05T10:43:00.002-05:00

Sorry I (Morgan) got so far behind this time. Soon you won't have to rely on me, Justin will take over for himself.

Mom, Austen and I are all going out for his graduation. He's very, very excited to be done with this portion of training and being treated like a human again.

In this last batch of updates, there were posts that were from BEFORE he graduated BCT in March, so you have to scroll past those to find the new (old) posts. I think March 23rd is the oldest one.

April 28th, 2009

2009-04-28T20:18:00.000-05:00

Guess what? Nothing. :) Nothing new. Just sitting on free time. Just finished Marcus Luttrels book "Lone Survivor." Was at the range all day shooting the 25mm chain gun. Man that's a big gun. :) Tomorrow is all day at the range firing the MaDuce (.50 cal). Then Thursday we clean the range. Then 4 days of FOB and then March. It's getting there.

I passed my APFT the other day. I did good. I ran a 12:50 2 mile. That was good. Back home I was going it right at 16:00 and I have 18:30. So for me I'm flying. :) 90% of the people don't do it under 14:00. Even the young guys. I was super sore. I hurt all over. I think I'm ready for soccer now! :) My endurance is crazy. I can work at overload for several hours. Although it hurts later. :) I got 15 days and a wake up :)

I've already made (met)a few friends going to Lewis. They're insert. They've been in combat ect. Cool guys :) it will be nice to know people there. I guess Stryker school get you (me) promotion points. I guess it is a real school people request and want to go to. I have to go. Looking forward to it now, knowing that will be my job. To some extent, can't wait for phone/PC access. Civilian clothes at night and weekends and my own meal and work out options.

Haven't heard from anyone really in a while. Got a letter from Mom a while back. Hope everything is going well.

Been thinking about the dogs a lot lately. Been missing Little Bear a lot. I still have a hard without them. I miss them lots.

They've been feeding us MREs now. MMMM:) Yeah right, whatever. I just want food! :)MREs are better than field chow. That's for sure. :-|

Anyhow, gotta go. miss yall

~Justin

April 25th, 2009

2009-04-25T10:30:00.000-05:00

Well, here I am still. :) I think they are letting up for a few days. We've been getting wrecked for the last week and the APFT is Monday @ 0330 (that's morning time for all you am/pm time guys. I don't know why the hell they do that?). Then most of next week will be setting up for the FOB (FOrward Operations Base). That's 4 days long and our final exercise. Then the 20/25k most likely 23k. We took the SGST (Scouts Gunnery Skill Test) yesterday. That went well. My best test score yet. 100%. It covered the TOW missile system, the 240 Charlie, the 25 mm chain gun - aka 25 mike- Bradly night driving, .50 cal belt fed, MK-19 (Automatic Grenade Launcher) and some other shit.

Today we did spring cleaning out side. We picked up leaves with our bare hands for about 4 hours. Apparently there was nothing else important to do today. :) There are 2 other people from Idaho in my platoon, and 3 in my troop. We talked about Idaho. Boise, Meridian, Pocatello, Sun Valley, it was fun for a while. Then we all started missing home and realizing how nice Idaho is.

I'm trying to stay focused on this shit here and get it done. I'm also trying to get straight in my head how things might play out for me over the next year. Life for me is about ready to start getting crazy, I think. I hope everything works out well. Mostly I want to get home for a few weeks. I want to see the girls and Little Bear. I would to over sleep in my own bed a few times, watch a movie or two, take a nice long road bike ride or 3. I want to see a few people, spend time with family and friends, go shooting a few times, make sure my house is square, finances are square, eat some good, healthy food. Maybe go get a taco and pick up on a Mexican cutie, take the dogs to the river and a few other things, but generally do most the things I am missing now. Beacuse soon after I won't get a chance again for a while. It's still looking like I'm staying here for sure, but now it's looking like a 4 day hold over. That is an off base pass then two weeks of class and off to Ft Lewis on June 5th. That won't be too bad. If that's how it goes down. If anyone comes to Kentucky to visit those 4 days, we're going to the Texas Road House. I think I fell in love with that dessert* when Aaron was out. That is some good shit. :) If no one comes to visit, I'm still going! :)barracks maintenance, dinner chow, lights out early for early Monday PT test.

I hope when I graduate OSUT here in a few weeks, I can find a way to get my laptop, phone, etc. So I can start communicating with phone and net and organizing shit with the laptop. I need to catch up on some news too.

Well anyhow, like I said, not much going on now. Just acclimated to all the BS so it's pretty boring.

I hope you're all well and good.

Hope to see you all soon, until next time, take care

~Justin :)

There shouldn't be much to do tomorrow, but we'll see. Breakfast chow, church, lunch chow,

Guessing on that one - cannot read the word.

mid to late April (not dated)

2009-04-20T19:51:00.000-05:00

Hey what's up? Not much here. just sitting around, still training. Yesterday we drove Bradlys in the day then Hummvee with night vision (well FLIR- you know the white and black shit). Then I drove a brand new C-MET Bradly at night. It was sick. You don't even see outside. You look at a TV screen inside that shows the whole outside with FLIR. Doing like 30 mph in a 30+ ton tank. It was the shit. Then I rode for a while in the turret with the commander and as we were driving he would spin the turret like those damn t-cups at the fair. It was cool. We get to drive them in the mud next week. Then I'll probably never drive one again. Strykers are the same but you get a 360 degree exterior view with video screen. You drive 100% like you're playing XBox.

- Well I don't know for 100% sure, but it looks like I stay here as a hold-over. Which means I graduate May 14 then sit for 1 week here doing nothing. Then I go to 2 weeks of Stryker school and then go to Ft. Lewis June 5th. Then deploy to Iraq end of July if I'm 4th Stryker Brigade or Afghanistan end of July if I'm 5th Stryker Brigade. But that could change. I'm sure but that's what it is looking like. I hope I get a few weeks at home at some point. Which I will. It's kind of lame I have to stay here, but it won't be associated with what I am doing now. I'll be able to come and go as I please, etc. I just want to get back close to home. Kentucky sucks. :( hehe I should be able to have cell phone and laptop at that point, too. - Well I will - I just need to get my laptop and phone service going. That does net service, too. Everything is deja vu over and over.

To other stuff -

Was wondering about Little Bear. Hope he is well and not causing too much chaos. It's still hard without him almost 4 months later. Same with the girls. Sometimes I find it hard to think about them. I miss them too much. I miss their energy and the comfort and peace they bring. The dog piles on Saturday morning and walking in the hills. They are truly missed. I hope to see them soon.

~Justin

April 19th, 2009

2009-04-19T17:54:00.002-05:00

Sunday night. Cleaned most the day. Rained all day. We should be in the last phase of training as of Friday - gold phase - but we still fly black flags - we have full barracks inspection tomorrow. If we do good, I think we'll go to gold. If not, maybe stay in black. Then there is that possibility we do to red, seeing as how one asswipe just got caught with chewing tobacco. God these fuckers never stop. It's always one son of a bitch that's gotta fuck everyone. :)

Oh well. We're on the count down any how. This week is mostly driving Bradlys. Tomorrow and at night too. Humvees I think are on Tuesday. Still not sure about leave and all that shit yet. Will let people know as soon as I know. Realistically, I just want to get out of here and go home for a bit. Or even go to WA, check in and go home for a bit. I'm looking forward to getting the real part of this job going. Being able to be in a bit more control of my life and have a little time off.

Let's see what we've done since last time: Not much. We finally did the rappel tower :) the ropes getting up were funner than the rappel down. You go up a rop bridge first, down a rope bridge, then up a two rope bridge. This fucker is hard.

Let's see, I'm down to about 170 pounds. That's good news. Still always tired. Still always hungry and praying to God I don't get hurt for 3 more weeks. My left knee is getting a bit sore, but it doesn't seem to be bad when I run on it, which is good. My left shoulder is a bit fucked also, but I should be able to do my push ups for the APFT. Anyhow, fireguard time. I'll be writing soon. Until then, take care all

~Justin
scouts out

April 13th, 2009

2009-04-13T18:02:00.002-05:00

Not much going on right now. 2020 hours on free time. I get tonight off so I'm mellow. Training is a lot different now. It's pretty chill the last few days. Well then again, we've had some tough PT. Maybe I'm just used to it. I'm still disappointed in the phone shit, 12 weeks later. :)

Got a letter from Jason today. That was cool. Learned some shit going on in the valley - interesting stuff - :) Good thing that Angel fucker got put away, he was a fuck bag. 14 years ain't long enough.

Want to say hello to Al Pointe. Hope Mexico treated you good. It was good to hear you said hello. Haven't seen you in a while. Maybe some day I'll come visit in Mexico and we can have a cold one. :)

And I guess Billy was a Cav Scout. huh. I wonder when that was. If so, he had to have been here at Ft. Knox. All cav has to come through here all the way back to the 1st cav of Patton. It would be interesting to talk to him. Well, anyhow, wanted to say hello to him anyway. Hope all is well. As Billy if he knows of the Disney Barracks. That's where I live.

We learned how to assemble and siassemble the 25 mm chain gun today. That is one BFG. It's the main weapon system on the BFV (Bradly Fighting Vehicle). That's a cavalry vehicle. I'll never drive one of those, cause I am supposed to be Stryker, which is ok with me. BFV are friggin old and out dated, but it will be fun lighting off some 25mm rounds with that things at the FOB (forward operations base).

We live there for four days out in the sticks. That's the last four days of training. Then we Ruck back 20+k and training is over. Then we spend 1 week getting ready to get out of here. We have land navigation all day tomorrow. That will be a long day. Unless it gets cut short, there are a lot of tornado warnings around here that cut training short sometimes.

A lot of new troops are showing up as our cycle gets close to an end. Fox troop is about to graduate but Echo, Delta, Alfa, and Bravo are all just starting or quite a ways behind us. We are second in seniority to fox. I think they graduate a week before us.

I look at all of the guys and I feel a mix of emotions for them. I'm mostly happy I'm not still way back in that phase with 4 or 3 or 2 months to go. Dang. I can definitely tell I wasn't meant to be caged. I would DIE in a prison. Well probably not, but I would feel like it.

I'm glad we will be out of here before the summer and the heat and bugs and shit that comes with it. Seattle should be nice for the summer. Hey and who knows, Afghanistan might be great in the fall. :) I believe it's cold as fuck in the winter. I'd rather be in a cold environment than a hot one for a war and combat situation. Well that's my thinking. That might change soon.

It's strange - I have absolutely no fear of going to Afghanistan. None whatsoever. I think a few people here have some reservations and the reality of what is happening is sinking in. I am completely unaffected. In a way, I look forward to going.

I worry more about home than about Afghanistan. Supposedly we're supposed to make some good money for going. I hope that is true, even if not, I want to go.

I hope I get some awards when I leave too. I want to be a Corporal, not a specialist. I want a PT excellence badge and I want an excellence in Cavalry Badge, but I doubt any of that will happen, but those are my three goals right now.

I guess Corporal mostly are more desk and specialist are more combat. So I guess I better shoot for Sergeant. :) Which should happen some day :) Specialist till then.

Right now, there is a hell rainstorm going on with lots of lightening and thunder. I've got my fingers crossed for a tornado. I want to see one of those bad boys in person.

I bet there are all sorts of movies and TV shows I've never seen that will be fun. I think I'm getting delerious now :) I really love sleep :) and food :) Damn it's really raining :) I miss having PC access :) I miss my TV and my XBox :) I miss going out to the hills with the dogs :) I miss seeing hot chicks :) at this point I miss half ugly chicks as well :) I miss coffee, cookies, and monsters. I can't wait to change my diet and exercise routine. :) I always seem to be thinking about shit I want to do or am looking forward to doing some day soon :) well lights out

austa luego

scouts out
~Justin

April 12th, 2009

2009-04-12T18:24:00.002-05:00

Easter Sunday

Well we got some free time, but I don't know how long it will last. There is TV room, sleep on PT mats, letters, and phone. Anyone screws up and it's all over. So, it's only a matter of time before it's over.

I want to use the phone but that doesn't look like a good bet. So I'm just gonna write for a bit. Well I think the phone might not happen. This place is so fucked and 80% of the privates here are absolute fucking retarded assholes. Most are very egocentric. It's all me me me. Pretty much any time we get anything good or any freedoms someone or a handful of people decide to do the wrong things and fuck everyone back home. They are the people who get their asses beat.

So far I don't know about my leave and how it will work. Or graduation, my next duty station, or deployment. Nothing seems to be of any concern in regards to anything like this. It's pretty damn stupid if you ask me. How can 10s of thousands of people do this a year yet no one will put forth straight info on how it all works.

I'm so ready to come home. Just for a week. Well, I'm gonna nap for minute now. Well, try to for as long as I can. Well I got on the phone - wasted all my minutes trying to get through. Didn't get anyone. Finally got Mom and the receiver broke and she called back and the receiver doesn't work. Sunday so there won't be any mail, it always seems to be something around here.

This really sucks.

Maybe sometime this next week I'll get my orders and find out my unit and all the details. One guy got Ft Irwin. They're not deploying. A few got Germany, Ft Benning Georgia, Ft Carson Colorado, Ft Hood, Texas, of course a few at Ft Lewis Washington. I'm sure there will be more. A few people that got Ft Campbell are slugs. I don't know how they will be Air Assault - douche bags :)

3 guys going to Lewis are Sgts who released (changed their MOS or jobs - they were mechanics or telecommunications ect.). I don't really know if we'll all be together or not, I guess we'll see. Well time to go to dinner, hope to talk to someone soon.

~Justin

April 11th, 2009

2009-04-11T18:45:00.002-05:00

Well cut it short last night. Did the 15k today. Was worried I would be too sore, but not the case. I was totally good and finished strong up front. We go up some big ass hills with 12/14/21% grades. They're steep and long. It's fucked :) Then we got back and everything was cool till some asshole got caught doing the wrong things and we all got wrecked for it in the pit (big sand pit). Low crawl/high crawl and all sorts of shit. It sucked bad. I loved it. :)

I love watch. Other people in misery over shit like that, it's funny. Now just sitting waiting for lights out and my fireguard. Oh got a 5 minute talk with Mom. It was nice, but not long enough. Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to call. Well we have 33 days left of scout school (AIT). It will be nice to get away from this part of the Army. This shit is getting old and the people are killing me little by little.

Well soon I suppose. I would like to go home for a week or two. Rest and eat and see some friends and family. I hope I get to soon. Until next time - take care, all!

Justin

Did I mention I passed my SSII test? Probably.

April 10th, 2009

2009-04-10T18:41:00.002-05:00

0915 I'm exhausted! Physically and mentally over the past few days we have done so much PT and it's ridiculous. This morning we ran 6 miles, had inadequate breakfast, tested all day. I did good. Then again, the tests are geared for idiots (really). Then we got smoked hard for this one asshole who never shuts up. Then to church which was pretty lame. I went to protestant service to get out of cleaning. No one stayed, I didn't want to be the only one here. Now fire guard, 4 hours of sleep and a 15k march that inevitably will turn into a 20-25k. I'm sore as fuck, after the run today, my knees are starting to feel it big time. I hope I don't break. I'm a little worried. Mentally, I'm fried, too. Especially at some people here. I'm ready to kill a couple, but I have to just hold it in and ride it out. To do anything else is a potentially stupid idea. The potential outcome is nothing but trouble, but man some of these people are shit bags. They need a good fucking up. Oh well, 99% I'll never see again.

April 9th, 2009

2009-04-09T18:38:00.002-05:00

Not much to report here. Tired as fuck still. Hungry as hell also. We've been doing shit loads of PT and getting wrecked (crazy ass PT till you puke type shit). Studying for scout skill test two. we have troop PT run at 0530 and then SSII test and at night we have some sort of night ops shit at 9:00. I'll let you knowhow that goes, till then, I'm sacking out. I'm burned.

Scouts out
~Justin

April 7th, 2009

2009-04-07T18:34:00.002-05:00

Today we learned how to download into our radios and synchronize the set frequencies and work in secure and non-secure modes. It was pretty informative. Then we did some crazy ass PT/smoking on the march home, we had to run over these two hills and two valleys and back probably 200 yards about ten times. It was a rough go at the end. Then we dropped on rifles and relayed it one time by platoon. First platoon won, then we did this shit where one man gets on hands and knees then the next dives over and rolls and makes an arch. The next dives, roles, goes under and gets on knees until all 30 guys in each platoon are doing it in a giant chain up and over 300 yards. I think we (1st platoon) lost that one. Then we ate and then did a troop run of about 4 miles, then studied, ate, then ran 2 miles, did sit-up/push-ups/pull-up drills. I'm fricking sore and tired!

Well, I'm out of here

~Justin

April 5th, 2009

2009-04-05T19:49:00.001-05:00

Not much to report

Looks like it's going to be a long, full week. Damn. At least when it's over there will only be 5 weeks left. Well then 2 after that, but no biggie. The end is coming soon. Soon I'll be wishing I was back here, while I'm sitting in some f-d up hilltop in no where Afghanistan thinking. Uh not. I'll take Afghanistan thank you. Well gotta go

Scouts Out
~Justin

April 3rd, 2009

2009-04-03T19:42:00.000-05:00

This blog entry was wrapped around an old Reese's wrapper. The paper had chocolate spots on it. I don't know why he put it in there.

Just sitting here again. :) Things don't seem to be as bad for now. This week has been mostly classes. Bradlys (fighting vehicles), HMMVE,LRASS (Long range scout surveillance systems) and call for fire (calling for artillery on targets). Mostly same old shit, dragging on and on. Dinner was pretty good tonight, but, as always, looking forward to breakfast chow. Group run at 0500 tomorrow. Then breakfast chow at 0700. Not much new really to talk about. 42 days left here. Well 41 tomorrow. It's not so bad. It just still sucks having such limited freedom. Especially that we have inserts with us who have cell phones and drink energy drinks, eat whatever, chew and smoke. That's gay. They all suck at PT though.

Still waiting for my orders. I'm pretty sure it's Lewis, but I want to see a hard copy and to know my unit. So I'll know what I'm going to be doing. I'm hoping for some mail some time too. Oh well. Well I'm going to my job hahah :)

You ain't cav, you ain't shit. Good night!

April 1st, 2009

2009-04-01T18:56:00.002-05:00

Supposed to be studying now, but I'm not. :) We worked mostly with radio shit today. Humvees and thermal vision crap that goes on the Humvee and tonight we have more financial classes. Yeah tomorrow is the class that covers TSP (thrift savings plan - DoD version of a 401k). That should be ok and some other shit. Things are still pretty mellow so far. Waiting for that to change. We're still in black phase. hmmmm? That's good. Still waiting on duty station confirmations. Oh well. Shit, I forgot what I was thinking.

I hope I still get Ft. Lewis. I've heard that can change sometimes, but who knows. Still clueless on how time off will work during that time. I got permanent fireguard now, which is cool 'cause I got lucky and got the 9:30-10:30 shift. So, I don't have to wake up in the middle of the night anymore. That's cool for me.

Well I gotta go to formation for class, yeah. :) Talk to you all later.

Well, I just wanted to say HI a bit more. It's bed time. Man shits slow. We're not getting worked so much. Hopefully that lasts. People here really still have their heads up their asses though. It's sort of weird in my mind, I've put people in groups. So many people are such fucks, I know all the Nat Guard some of them are pretty nice, but no Nat Guard will be in my unit. That leaves the regular army guys. One is going to Lewis and one is going to Campbell - that's Byrns - he is neither here nor there. Out of the other say 10 - 2 I can't stand or do I trust. We'll see about those when we all find our duty stations. I want to know who all is going to Lewis. Those are the guys I'll be with and the ones I plan to give a shit about here. The other, for the most part, can go fuck each other for all I care. I'm actually not pissed, I will be happy to know which ones of the remaining asses I can write off. Oh well, I'm going to go to sleep. Chow 0600 wake up 0430 - 10:45 now.

See ya

Scouts out
~Justin

Lost Entry

2009-03-31T20:23:00.001-05:00

Just wanted to let you all know that I stuck in an entry for March 20th. Since they file by date, it is instantly buried.

Justin seemed to have a good family day weekend and really enjoyed everything we did for him. He knows where he is going, but I will let him tell that when he is ready.

Morgan

March 31st, 2009

2009-03-31T18:54:00.002-05:00

Back to the same shit. Still fucked with Bradlys all day. That was kinda cool. I talked to an insert, that is someone who is here for AIT only, 3 of about 20 are going to Ft. Lewis. They say it's 3rd brigade Strykers, but I won't know for sure till I get the orders. 4th & 5th out of Lewis are in Afghanistan now. 2nd & 3rd are supposed to go this fall to replace them.

These are so great! Thanks Aaron!!

2009-03-30T22:37:00.001-05:00

March 30th, 2009

2009-03-30T18:50:00.002-05:00

Sure is rough being back. Some ole shit again. Just got hungry finally then dinner sucked. We're still in Black Phase. That's good, and 1st platoon hasn't been smoked yet. That's good.

Today there was some F-up in scheduling or something so we didn't train all day. Went to a few classes that sucked. I think tomorrow we start Bradly training. Not sure though.

I finally received the letter from Nana. That was cool! Very interesting! And I received pictures of Camas and Cotton today that was really cool, too.

I'm all ready back to wanting coffee and a cookie. All ready. How sad.

Well I'll write later.

6 weeks seems long - damn

scouts out

March 29th, 2009

2009-03-29T19:35:00.002-05:00

OK, back from the weekend, which was a really good time. Man was it hard coming back to this place. We had black flags on when I got back, who know for how long, and I'm sure it doesn't mean shit.

Well we didn't get smoked tonight. That was surprising. We did get piss tested the minute we walked in the door, which was not surprising. Black and gold those are the two phases left. We'll probably be back in red tomorrow? :) One other guy found his duty station on his AKO (Army Knowledge Online) account. A guy from Lancaster, CA named Eggers. He is a pretty nice kid. He is also going to Ft. Lewis. I forgot to say that before I wrote the last line. hehe. That's cool, He is a good trustworthy, guy one of the bunch that I'm glad are going to the same place.

Out of all thse other fuckers, me and him were the only ones able to find our duty station. What does that tell you? 2 out of 30. I was wondering about Stryker School and the extra two weeks at Ft. Knox. Someone told me they thought that two weeks was for drivers. That's a thought for sure. The rumor now is Nat Guard is not going to the Mex Border, but the reg Army is. That is several brigades of Strykers. Boy, how crazy would that be to end up in a Stryker doing border patrol down in Texas or Arizona. Not likely, but an entertaining idea for sure. I sure hope the next 6 weeks go off without a hitch. Everyone here is miserable, everyone misses their family and everyone is worried about where they are going. I feel ok, so that's good.

Just wanted to say thanks.

2009-03-28T16:33:00.001-05:00

Just wanted to say hello.
Im in louisville now hanging out with cousin arron :)
weve just been sort of cruising around and drinking lots of coffie, and eating lots of good food. went to chuch hill downs and got to go in free to walk down by the empty track, went to a glass blowing factory, louisville slugger factroy, hard rock cafe ect. just wasteing time enjoying looking around. Had a massage this morning that was nice and relaxing.
I found out last night my duty station.
So Iv now graduated from basic, but must go back to ft knox for 6 more weeks to graduate from advanced training for cavlery scout. I should graduat from knox on may 14th. then i am to report to ft lewis washington on may 21st. that is good news for me I dont know much about ft lewis but it was my first choice on my wish list for duty sataions. Its in seattle which is a short jump home on a plane from seatac direct to haily which is cool, I also like the climate and the area. Ive heard allot of people really like that base and want to get it but dont, i dont know if thats true but if it is i got lucky i suppose. after that i dont know. i have to worrie about the next six weeks only. allot can happen in six weeks that can change everything so day by day.

I also wanted to say hello and thanks to everyone for all the letters, and positive words and support. the letters really helps me stay sain :)
I hope to keep hearing from you all. and I hope you all keep cheaking up on the blog now and then to see whats going on. im sure over time there will be some interesting things that could happen, im on a long journy thats just really begun, im sure theres lots of stuff to come that might be interesting. so keep cheaking in

I also realy want to say thanks to morgan for all she has done with this page for me and with little bear, she is doing more for me than i can explain to you all.
I also want to thank mom who also is doing more for me than i can explain with out them none of this would be possible. Iv found out that bear is dong great after his little issue, and that the girls, camas and cotton are happy and content at home with mom now and not in any danger of being run out of the complex that is their new temporary home.

Well I should go, i just wanted to say hi, and thanks once again to all, i will keep you all posted on how things go. and Ill try to get some more photos to morgan to post soon.

Take care all, talk to you soon.

SCOUTS OUT
justin.........

March 25th, 2009

2009-03-25T19:27:00.002-05:00

Well it's Wednesday. Today we did tactical kill stuff where we shot AR15/M-14s at big ass video screen that register hits. We're picking targets out of groups of people. It's pretty crazy and super cool, but like everything else they rush people through like you can't believe. So you don't get a lot of time. I got to go twice. I had one really good kill. A Iraqi in a room of people had a detonator I was the only one to take a shot at him in our group and I hit him right between the eyes. The playback shows you all the points of impact. It is really cool shit to work with. We marched to the kill houses in a torrential rain where we did building entry for about 4 hours. Door breaching, clearing rooms and houses, setting up cordons ect. It was ok, most 1st platoon are jack asses and it's a game which sort of ruins it for me. Tomorrow we have to rappel tower. Last thing we do before BCT graduation ceremony. Friday we clean barracks, graduate BCT and go on a 2 day pass WOOO HOOO

I want to get some peace and quiet so bad. Two days ain't enough, but it'll have to do. Then back Sunday afternoon for 6 more weeks. Fucking bloody hell. I'm pretty sure nothing changes. Our senior drill for "C" troop is a friggin prick. His goal in life, I think, is to make people miserable. Got it gets old. I can imagine being that bitter at life. Oh well, I got fire guard at 0330 - then Friday wake up is 0330 so fucking shit. First thing I do when I get out of this shit hole Friday is I'm going to the nearest convenience store and I'm gonna ransack it. :) ha ha. Along with 100 other people.

Well damn - I'm going to bed. I'm looking forward to Friday. I'll be talking to a few of you this weekend I hope. :) Till then

Justin

March 23rd, 2009

2009-03-23T19:19:00.002-05:00

2100 hours, lights out at 2130. Fireguard at 0130-0230. Wake up at 0430. PT at 0530. Breakfast chow 0700. Light tactical assault battle at 0900. Weapons maintenance at 1300. That's it. Then if we don't screw up - we just clean and wait till dinner and mail. Things are sort of mellowing down. Tension among the privates is high, bunch of knuckle heads. We picked up our pickle suits today then promptly sent them to be dry cleaned. Wednesday we have classes and graduation dress rehearsal crap and Thursday I don't know. Maybe rappel tower.:) Friday we should be graduated and gone before noon. I sure hope so. Here the weather is getting nice. The dogwoods are blooming and I've noticed a lot of cool birds. I saw my first ever cardinal. That was nice.

I sure don't know about this damn place. At the end of the cycle we get t-shirts and hoodies guys in 1st platoon designed for our "hellraisers - cav scout - recon" shit. If any one wants a t-shirt or hood sweatshirt, let me know. I don't know the price and they're specific for our platoon, "Hellraiser Recon." So if not that's cool, I just thought I'd put it out there just in case. I;ll probably get two of each just for the hell of it. I don't even know how cool or stupid they'll be. I'm just gonna grab some for memorabilia shit. We won't get them for 4-6 more weeks.

I look goofy in my Class A's. We're supposed to wear them all Family Day weekend - we'll see about that. Hopefully the hotel has a pool. I need a chlorine bath. Kill some of the disease on me. Dirty bastards everywhere. Well, light out. So talk to you all later.

~Justin

March 22nd, 2009

2009-03-22T14:27:00.000-05:00

Damn, what a place. Went to church. That was OK. When we got back instantly into full battle rattle and on Red line for 6 hours. Holy shit that sucked. Strange, we've been together without break for 9 weeks - 24 hours a day - God, talk about fucked up. All those reality TV shows you see ain't got shit on the real thing. Sometimes I have to realize also, as cavalry scouts, most all of us who are regular Army are all going to the same place and will end up together where ever we go. It's a real mixed bag of people when we leave here. We'll go do the same shit, at some point we might see some of the National Guard down the road, but if we do, we'll have been going our job for quite a while when they show up. Some of the National Guard and some regular Army are cool and I hope if we do get stationed together it's some of the people I like. There are quite a few shit heads. I don't want to get stationed with them. There are some people I don't trust with my life here. Some are too fucked. We'll just have to wait and see what fate deals me (then he drew a little picture of a hand of cards).

One good thing about this place is I do tend to forget how old I am a lot. Most times that is good.

Mostly we've been cleaning tonight. I'm lucky, I got off fireguard tonight and had it at 9:30-10:30 last night. That's cool. Tomorrow we get refitted for Class As and then who knows what. Well, I'm getting some shut eye. 4 1/2 days tille I get some relief :-)

~Justin

March 21st, 2009

2009-03-21T14:12:00.000-05:00

Well, Saturday night, I go on fire guard at 2130, that's in 1/2 hour. Did the 12k today with all gear. When we got back I was good. Then senior drill said, "everyone dump your rucks. If you don't have everything in your rucksack, you will do 65 laps around the little quad." That equals 13 miles. We started. All the shit we dumped out, a total of about 40-50 pounds. THANK GOF!! I had everything, but out of about 100 people, about 70 some odd people were missing all sorts of shit - from socks to earplugs, IBA plates, flashlights, etc. So me and about 40 of the troop get to clean tomorrow instead of walking 13 miles. That's cool. And I get to go to church. That will be nice for about 3 hours. And the crazy cat, VonRatzka, said he would give me half his breakfast tomorrow. That's cool.

Counting down till Friday. Why, I'm not too sure, but when we get back, only 6 more weeks. That's cool.

People here are going a bit loony, I think. I can't even say, well, don't want to say what about ten of those idiots did tonight. All I can say is I had no part in it or desire to. Fuckin little freaks. :-)

I hope I can find a grocery store Friday to get some good shit to eat. I want to eat slow and enjoy it. I'm tired of eating like a starving dog.

I'm curious to see what is in the card Morgan sent me. I will open it Friday at the hotel.

Fireguard is over. Going to bed. Did laundry, my shit is still in the dryer. Hopefully that bozo Abraham will remember to deliver my shit when it's done. I rotated and delivered about 10 loads. Mine finished the wash at the end of my shift. I take care when I do others stuff. Some people are turds. You'll open your bag in the morning to half wet shit. I can only guess 'cause they need to free up a dryer for their stuff.

My throat is still messed up. I've been sick with some shit ass disease of another for 9 weeks straight. This place is a giant disease incubator. When I leave here I bet I don't get a lot of colds much any more.

Well goodnight, all. Hope you all are doing well. :-)

~Justin

PICTURES

2009-03-20T23:39:00.006-05:00

He is on the far right behind the DS. Sorry about the picture quality, the original was too big for my scanner and I had to take a photo of the photo.

March 20th, 2009

2009-03-20T20:15:00.000-05:00

I guess it's Friday. We took the PT test yesterday. I passed everything solid, but I wish I could have done better. We took the scout skill test #1. Passed that. Missed one, but I got screwed. Missed it due to Drill Sgt attitude. Oh well, I passed so on to the 12k ruck march tomorrow.

Rappelling on Monday, forgot church on Sunday, and Bradley fighting vehicles on Tuesday. That should be pretty cool. We're getting close to Family Day. Only 6 days to go now. I know it will go way too fast. Then we have April and 1/2 of May - Then who knows. I'm just praying not Ft. Campbell. We'll see. :-)

Two days sure won't be long enough, but I will take it. So, I wonder how everything is going back home. Hopefully, good. I'm always wondering too, what is going on in the news. We seem to be so isolated here. The world could be collapsing and we would be the last to know. Yeah, hehe, unfortunately, it's true. Well, I'm gonna shower and go to bed. So I hope you all take care.

:-)

~Justin

March 18th, 2009 (I'm guessing - not dated)

2009-03-18T14:03:00.000-05:00

Well, I got a few minutes and an empty page.

Looking out the window. It's a nice night. I have my window open and the air is fresh here. 9:00 and the bugle started playing. The bugle plays at wake up and 3 chow times. 6:00 for the flag and 9:00 for I guess end of the day.

One of the drill sergeants can be heard down the hall screaming. Asking this guy Shelton is crop dusting people. "What the fuck, Shelton. Are you walking around crop dusting fucking people, you fucking scum bag." "No, drill sergeant." "The fuck if you aren't. Get in full battle rattle you piece of shit." - crop dusting is when you walk around blowing ass on people and walk on. There's so many people here, no one knows who it was. Gas here is out-fucking-rageous. Some say it's the food. Some say it's 'cause we eat our food so fast, but whatever it is, it's awful, just awful!

Well - lights just went out - LATER

March 17th, 2009 (I'm guessing - not dated)

2009-03-17T13:50:00.000-05:00

Well, what is up, all? How is everyone doing? OK here. The weather finally turned out great today, but the ruck march home was hot as hell. I was soaked, but I was rolling. Everyone was dead at the end, but I was charged. I could run 4 more miles. Today was cool. We did the MOV urban obstacle. Where we breached doors and clear these old houses. You do it in teams, Alpha, Bravo, Charlie (Charlie is MedEvac) and outer cordons - they control the outside. Alpha and Bravo clear the housing. All have bad ass paint ball M-16 (A4).

We got to shoot out with the drill sergeant and cadre. We sucked, but it was fun and a good learning experience. You can tell regular Army guys are serious - we're going to be doing this for real - the Nasty Girls (National Guard) take everything as a joke. They're in this for the money and school, but it was fun.

Tomorrow is mounted live fire. We'll be training how to fire from moving vehicles. That should be cool.

BCT graduation in 9 days!

To graduate, we still have to pass another physical test - no problem for me. A scout skill test (mostly mapping), we have another 12k march and rappel 70'. So, BCT graduation is in the bag.

There are 7 more weeks. We started with about 140-150 people. Right now, we're down to about 95-100. Within the next week we'll lose about 10 more. Pretty bad attrition rate. The other fucked thing you have to know about - 70-80% of the people here are National Guard - They go home after AIT. The 30% regulars go to war. I just hope I go to Afghanistan.

Well, I gotta get back to the Army.

~Justin
Scouts Out :-)

March 16th, 2009 (I'm guessing - not dated)

2009-03-16T13:35:00.000-05:00

What a day. Today we did building entry classes, roadside check, IED classes and about 6k of ruck marching. Got back and one of the sick calls (those are the people who are physically fucked up - actually profile are physically sick, calls are ill - but they don't train and do shit) well, one of them got caught sleeping so we all had to go to the pit. High crawl, low crawl, back crawl, pushups, flutter kicks, each in the wet sand and mud for about an hour. I kicked ass :-) but I'm sore now. Then tonight our bay has four people - one, Abraham, is an idiot - he's nice - he is just an idiot. Well then we got a new guy, VonRatzka, he came from the mental ward called Lincoln Trails, and on top of that, we got two of the AWOLs they caught the other night who've been gone a month - Wilson and Simpson. They're frickin crazy too. Now my bay is a friggin mad house. Lovely. Just my luck. Oh, and we went from Blue all the way back down to Red phase. 1st platoon barracks (mine) were good, 3rd and 4th platoon were shit holes. So, now we all pay - thought 2, 3, & 4th floors are off limits to us. It's so fucked. So we pay physically. It's this sort of shit that may eventually break me. Just being old, I'm doing great, but I don't know how long I can hold up. Hopefully another 9 weeks.

Tomorrow we have Urban Warfare Training. Who knows what that will be like. One day at a time. I'm sick as hell again. Massive sore throat. Makes it hard. I can take sick call, but you only get so many days. I want to save those all till the end. Besides, you get labeled a piece of shit just for going any time, even for legitimate reasons. A lot of people use it to get out of training. You get the rest, eat good, watch TV, etc. while at the hospital all day. I don't want to go at all. Sort of a personal goal. :-)

Well, lights out - God this place is a NUT HOUSE. It feels more like a mental ward at times hehehehe :-)
shit - scouts out
~Justin

March 15th, 2009

2009-03-15T13:30:00.002-05:00

Went to church today. Ate 3 good meals and finally had a 25 minutes phone call with Mom. Everything sounds OK at home. The girls sound good and content. For that, I am thankful, although I still miss them much and long for the day I can hug them. I'm starting to look forward to the few days off, 2 days of food I can't have, sleep, a dark quiet room, hot shower, etc. I can't wait 2 weeks!

Tomorrow we work with landmine warfare and go to the shoot house. Basically a paintball war with building entry as the format. Who knows what that all will be like.

They finally caught two of the AWOLs. They're sleeping in my bay tonight. >SCUMBAGS< but whatever. Their lives are over. What a stupid thing to do, especially in a time of war. Damn.

Oh well, not my problem. Fuck it, I'm going to bed.

Scouts Out
~Justin :-)

March 13th, 2009

2009-03-13T13:22:00.000-05:00

Just gonna write a little today. I'm too tired. Just got back a while ago. It's 11 now, duty at 2:30-3:30 and wake up at 4. Totally fucked. That and I'm starving. Breakfast chow's not till 2:30. Same old shit again. Today we did dismounted combat movements, which was pretty cool. Moving while giving suppression fire and cover fire. Then, tonight we did night infiltration course (NIC @ NIGHT). You go down into this trench and they're blasting. Weird ass music and screams and gunfire and shit. Flares are going off, then you move. You are low crawling through the sand while live 7.62 rounds are being fired at you, over your head. You have about to go about 300 yards over logs and barbwire obstacles. There are pits that C-4 is blowing up like incoming fire. You can see tracers flying over your head and the 240 Bravos just dumping rounds in full action down range. It's loud as fuck and you don't want to stand up. That's for sure!

That was pretty fun, but at this point I'm frickin fried and really want some damn food and some phone time. Hand to hand combat tomorrow. Damn, I'm going to bed.

YOU AIN'T CAV
YOU AIN'T SHIT

~Justin :-)

March 12th, 2009

2009-03-12T23:12:00.000-05:00

Gotta make this one short. Wrote a few other letters tonight.

So things are sort of back and forth today. Still totally physically fried. Tomorrow is movement under direct fire. That should be pretty crazy. We'll see what happens. Got fitted for a Class A dress greens today "The Pickle Suit" and have to wear the barret now. It's not too bad. Shit, I'm falling asleep again. hehehe :-)

We've got our Scout Skill Test I coming up in a week. Mostly maps, compass, direction, location ect. Some more med evac shit, non verbal communication skills, GPS, shit like that.

Well, I'm going. I'm zonked. Fighting the 'Z' monster.

Scouts out
~Justin :-)

March 11th, 2009

2009-03-11T23:04:00.002-05:00

Was at the obstacle course and confidence course today. Holy shit, I'm tired. Rucked there and back, too.

I got through obstacle and challenge which was fun. A lot of people can't get through a lot of the obstacles. Some are really fricking hard.

At some point we get a DVD of a shit ton of photos. I'll try and get some photos to send to you on a DVD you can use, but that won't be for quite a while. Shit that shit all gets mailed to Mom's. Oh well, we can figure it out and it's not for quite a while.

I'm so sore, I can barely roll over in bed.

We get fitted for class A's tomorrow, and we finally went into blue phase. We'll see how long that lasts. Hopefully I can get a few phone calls in before we lose it! :-)

Well, I'm going to bed, it's 10pm and I've got fire guard at 3:30-4:30 and wake up is at 4:15. So, it's like my wake up is 3:00. Oh well. The shit today sure was fun. It was the stuff you think basic's going to be. Oh well. Shit I just fell asleep - gotta go.

Scouts out
~Justin :-)

March 10th, 2009

2009-03-10T23:02:00.000-05:00

We have grenade course today. It was pretty fun. I got to throw two real grenades and a shit load of ones that are just the primers going off. We did the 8k march. It wasn't really that bad. We got the shit smoked out of us 'cause 80% of our platoon are idiots. Oh well, whatcha gonna do? Tomorrow - confidence course. We'll see.

Well I gotta go soon. I'm friggin' tired and sore. I hope everyone is doing well.

March 9th, 2009

2009-03-09T22:40:00.000-05:00

OK all, what is up?

Here I would like to say hello to a few of you. I really want to write everyone personal letters, but time is sometimes a precious commodity. So to be able to say hello to all, this is the best way for me.

Margie and Ernie
Hey there. I received your letters and had a nice surprise. It was good to hear from you guys. I'm glad to know you are doing well. :-)

Jason and Heidi
Hey, how are things there? I hope everything is good. It was a great surprise when I got your letter. It's real good knowing how things are going back home with everyone. Any time you want to write, feel free. I'm a guest here for about 2.5 more months :-)

Aaron
Another great surprise. It was really great getting your letters. It helps me feel like I'm still connected there. I can't wait to get back for a few days and we can all go have some coffee, you, me, Rob and Jim, etc. I could go for a headhunter and a big oat biscuit about now for damn sure! Hope to hear from you when you can. Till then, take care. PS - Congratulations on the twins! :-) :-)

Nana
I think Morgan had said Nana had read some of the blog. So I wanted to say hello and wish you the best.

~

So, this week is non stop bullshit. Today we did like combat shit things. We did the high and low crawl into fighting positions. So, basically this is like pigs rooting around in a trough with our rifles and maneuvering and taking up fighting positions in the muck. Then we ran a course - you have to understand we are in full body armor running through bushes and trees and much and shit, climbing over log barricades, under concertina wire in teams, giving cover fire as we move. The whole time we're getting shot at and shit with paintballs. We shoot 5.56 blanks for cover. Everyone here is covered in bloody welts. Shit's blowing up like incoming artillery. It was pretty nutty.

Tomorrow we road march our 8k and do the live grenade course. Both of which are BCT requirements. Well you must throw a minimum of two live grenades. Later this week is the 12k march.

It's 10pm no and wake up is at 0345.

MOM
I wanted to say hi to Mom. I want to write but like I said, time is precious. I'm glad the girls are being good. They can be a handful, but in good way. They are both so loving. I miss them a lot, but I don't worry about them much. I take comfort knowing they are in a happy, healthy place. I'm sure they just think it's vacation. I hope all goes well at the HOA meeting. I really don't want there to be an issue with the girls. They need to be there with you where they are safe and happy and together.

To Morgan & Mom -

I wanted to thank you so much for the hotel room. That is great. I'm looking forward to a few good meals and some good rest and phone time. Some sight seeing, some news and a hot, hot shower and now a massage!* That's great. I can't wait.

Really it's for the better no one is coming for BCT graduation. The end ceremony is the one to be at if you want to be at one. So, don't think I'm disappointed. On the contrary, I'm really happy to think you might come in May and I get a March weekend alone. :-)

As for answering a few questions:

I won't know my first duty station for a few more weeks. I can guess where I might go, but I don't want to. I'd just as soon tell it when I know for sure.

As for leave after graduation: Well, I get two weeks, but where my duty station is and when that unit's deployment time is, is the factor on whether I'll take it or not.

See, before you deploy, you get 30 days leave, but if I use my two weeks it screws that up. How much time I get and when I'll take it is still up in the air. I'll just let everyone know as it happens.

I'm wishing I would have put down Hawaii. Apparently the few who chanced it and put Hawaii got it. What the fuck! Oh well, that's probably a BS rumor.

Well, I gotta go.

Scouts out :-)

~Justin

*The way he wrote that sounds like he's thanking Mom and me for the massage. He knows that the massage is from you all and the $100 gift card, too.

March 8th, 2009

2009-03-08T22:37:00.000-05:00

Well I guess the next week's gonna suck. Oh well, day by day, I'll get through it. This week and next and BCT portion is over.

So we had a tornado warning tonight. Had one private assault another private and one try to go AWOL - he didn't make it but 100 yards. Typical BS - Same BS different day.

I was lucky enough to watch a skunk out back through the window while all the commotion was going on. He was cool looking. Mostly white with a pink face - funny looking little bastard. It was a nice moment to just watch him for five minutes walking around, foraging in the grass.

Well, going to bed.

Over and out:-)

~Justin

March 7th, 2009

2009-03-07T14:40:00.002-06:00

Well, back from fellowship day. "Operation Hug a Private" or some shit like that. Ate way too much food, then got to Ft. Knox and had to go to DFac for dinner ooooh shit. All those days of starving. Now I almost want to puke I'm so full. Oh well, it'll be gone and down the drain. Hopefully no PT tonight. I got cramps just marching back from the DFac. Tomorrow is church. It's funny. Well, not funny but interesting, how connected and interwoven religion and the military are.

Next week is supposed to be hard-hard week. We are now back in red. That really sucks. We're supposed to be in Blue yesterday. We now have ten weeks left. Lots of rumors on where we're all going, but won't know anything for a few more weeks. I'm wishing I would have put Hawaii just for the hell of it. Damn. Realistically, the only place I don't want to go is Ft. Campbell. If I get it I'll explain why. If not I'll just forget about it.

Took group photos the other day. My photos and the group and all will get sent to Mom. Hopefully she can post these sometime*. Supposedly we can get DVDs of all our training also. There are always people videoing everything we do. Maybe I'll be in some of it. Not all the people will be from Charlie Company, maybe even 1st and 2nd platoon only. Sometimes we train with 2,3&4. Sometimes just 2nd. I'll get one anyhow, just to see here in a few weeks. We'll see how many people are left.

Man my stomach hurts. Lack of self-control right there! Fuck it. It was good.

Found out about Little Bear today. Man that hurts. I guess now he has a little stubby tail. Haven't seen it but I can imagine. He had such a pretty tail and he was always slamming it back and forth with such happy energy. I'm happy he's okay, and I know he'll survive, but it still hurts knowing my decision to do this lead to the end result.** at least he's got his health and I know he is still a happy dog.

I miss that little fucker. Cotton and Camas I miss a lot, but they're such lazy little suckers and they've got each other. I worry less about them. Maybe to just because they are still somewhat in their environment and in a place of familiarity. Bear is in a great place, but it is all new. Well, it should be starting to feel better for him now. I hope.

When we get in trouble our cadence is 'Yellow Bird'.

Yellow bird - yellow bird - yellow bird with a yellow bill sittin on the window sill - I lured him in with a piece of bread then I smashed his fucking head.

The moral is: To get some head, you need some bread.

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y Victory, victory, that's my battle cry.
S-O-L-D-I-E-R Soldier, soldier that who we are.
C-A-V-A-L-R-Y Cavalry, cavalry, scouts till the day we die.

Next test I think is the PFT II. Which won't be bad. At 37, I have to do 24 sit-ups, 25 push-ups, and run 18 minutes - 2mile. I can do over 60 push-ups, over 60 sit-ups and do a 2 mile in under 14 minutes. That's good for me and I've got that all covered. So, I'm not worried. There are some fuckers who are 17-25 who can't hardly do 10-20 push-ups or sit-ups. It's fucking sad. How the fuck are these fuckers gonna be the Army's finest? These are the idiots I'm going to combat with. At least out MOS or 19Ds are mostly do night operations crap. Maybe they can all hide good. They better be able to. They can't run, jump, move, think, or shoot worth a shit. Hopefully I'll get a good unit with guys who know their shit. I'm highly motivated. Most the fuckers here are not, which makes it hard to be.

Just got weighed - 180 pounds - so I've lost 15 pounds since I've been here. I think some muscle and some fat. Oh well, I hope I'm about 170 when I leave. Shitty work outs for building big muscle, most shit is for muscle endurance which I'm getting little by little.

*Mom, when you get those, scan and email and I can post on the blog for everyone to see. Thanks!

** that happy energy slamming the tail on everything is what caused the problem. Justin is in no way responsible for what happened with Little Bear. The vet said it was probably inevitable with a tail as strong as his. It was hard, hard, hard, but he is fine. I will take pictures and post them for you all to see. He's a very handsome dog, regardless.

March 6th, 2009

2009-03-06T14:30:00.001-06:00

Well, what to write. We've done a few really cool things in the past few days.

We shot the M-4 at close combat targets with red dot sites, and then night fired same with night vision with integrated laser system. That was cool. Then we shot the M-249 belt fed 5.62. That was pretty cool. Then we shot the AT4. It's like our RPG or if you really don't know what I mean, think sort of like a bazooka. Then we got to shoot M-203. Those are grenade launchers fixed to your M-16. Then we got to watch some claymore mines blow up. Then we went and shot the 240 Bravo which is 7.62. We did a day fire and then we got to shoot at night with a really cool infrared night scope that was the shit. 7.62 beltfed with thermal imager.

Today we took our BCT-II test; another requirement for graduation. Tomorrow we have fellowship day. Food, phones and time away for a few hours.

Today we were supposed to be going to blue phase, but a bunch of fucking idiots in different platoons did a bunch of really fucked up shit. So, now we are back in red; all the way at the bottom. Blue = free time from 6:00 to 9:30 at which time we can have all the phone time you want. That's what I was looking forward to. It's really fucked and really pisses me off. Most the people here, - MOST! - are total fucking rejects. I really mean rejects. I can't figure how these people are supposed to be some of the Army's best. They are bottom of society's barrel. I wonder what that says about me :-)

Well I got guard in 2 hours. I'm going to bed. Take care.

~Justin

March 3rd, 2009

2009-03-03T18:57:00.000-06:00

Well, not much to say. Did the saline lock and IV today. Not too bad. It hurt a little and now I know how to do it.

Tomorrow is close quarters combat training in the day and night fire all night. I'll let you know how that goes.

Maybe I'll be able to call you this weekend. We have a special day and we get some good phone time this Saturday, and the word is we're going into blue phase next Sunday which could mean some phone time.

We've also heard again that we will be changing from OSUT to closed AIT, which would mean weekends off for phones and ability to PT on our own, eat how we want, ect. Fuck that would be nice. I'll believe it when it happens. I'll keep my fingers crossed but I won't hold my breath.

till next time

Scouts Out
~Justin

March 2nd, 2009

2009-03-02T18:46:00.000-06:00

Not much to say today. We did close quarters combat techniques. That was pretty cool. In that stuff we use new rifles and red dot optics. I hit everything from 5-100 meters, about 100 shots. It's pretty easy and fun, but no award for that shit.

At first, we were outside for a briefing, just first platoon. The instructor told us we were scout and we could handle it without gloves. We took our gloves off and after about 20 minutes it got bad. One guy collapsed out cold, several others lost it and were freaking, one guy made it inside and collapsed. Our hands were that cold. Mine were fucked up cold, probably as bad as they've ever been, but it was not a new sensation so I handled it well. Though, given another five to ten minutes and it would have gotten real bad. This is how serious this was: the instructor had his ass chewed and was canned on the spot. Welcome to the US Army. It really wasn't very cool at all.

10 weeks of this shit left now. Still seems like a long time, but I suppose it's better than 16. Apparently next week is the roughest week of the whole cycle. Well one of them I guess. I saw the schedule and it's going to be grueling. I'll write about it all as it plays out.

Tomorrow we have to administer saline locks and IVs on each other. Oh boy that's gonna fucking suck. I got 9:30 - 10:30 guard tonight. At least I'll get some decent sleep tonight. GOD, I CAN'T WAIT TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. Supposedly blue phase we get phone privileges, but we will see what happens. Anyhow, talk to yall later

~Justin

March 1st, 2009 (later in the day)

2009-03-01T18:39:00.000-06:00

Not much today, white phase. We get left alone quite a bit. We still are watched. If we fuck up it sucks, but they don't ride us so much. I lose squad leader at 0000 tonight. I like that. Went to church today and studied for the BCT II test. Next weekend is some sort of fellowship day. From 9-6 on Saturday we get to hang out with no drill Sgts. It's put on by all the church groups. We get open phone time, eat all we want, BS, play games, etc. I hope it's a good time. I'm looking forward to the phone and the food. We'll probably get fucked by the DS's. Oh well. It will be worth it. Family day is in 26 days. I'm looking forward to that also. Food/sleep/quiet alone time/maybe a movie - 2 days and 2 nights. Well, take care, all.

~Justin

March 1st, 2009 (3am)

2009-03-01T18:09:00.000-06:00

Board and on duty. I got CQ and line of sight duty. So, I guess we get to read or write cause we just sit here and stare at some kid who is nutso and make sure he doesn't go anywhere, escort him to the latrine, ect. The guy's a douche bag. I'm glad he's asleep.

Once you qualify with your M-16, the DS issue you 3 blank rounds that you must turn in at some point. Every time you go anywhere your rifle is locked and loaded. Every time you enter a building you must clear your weapon. No problem, right? Well, holy shit! Ever day I hear those rounds go off. They sound like fire crackers (there is no projectile) and some people pop theirs off while they're walking or standing there. I've probably heard 10 go off in the last 3 days. I'm not sure if many people understand what that means and how scary it really is. I mean, the weapons are on safe all the time and get cleared for safety as if they were loaded with real ammo and that's what these rounds simulate: real ammo or how things are on base in a war zone or whatever. To me that simulates let's say 10 people popping off 10 rounds in the last 3 days in a crows of people. What the fuck? That's the potential for 10 friendly fire deaths. I was told about this before and told to watch your ammo because as more and more people fire their blank rounds, people start stealing others to avoid the consequences when it's time to return the rounds. Some people just don't comprehend how serious this is and how seriously they should be taking this.

By Christmas we all will probably be deployed. When everything's not going to be some funny joke. Well I, for one, realize it and dont intend to forget it. By the way, I still have all 3 of mine and I sure as shit hope and intend to turn in 3 rounds at the end of basic. I mean shit, keep the shit on safe, don't pull the trigger unless you intend to discharge the weapon and always clear the damn things by ejecting. Observe the chamber. Make sure the weapon is clear before you pull the trigger. Oh well, these are the fuckers I'm going to be going into combat with.

Fuck, I can't wait for chow. I'm starving. You burn up way too much energy here. I think in black or gold you eat on your own and get to exercise on your own. I hope that's true but probably BS.

Well - shift's over - Scouts Out

~Justin

February 28th, 2009

2009-02-28T17:23:00.001-06:00

Lights got shut out there at that last line (2/27 post). I'm not sure I want to explain all that now. I just had a close call. 3 guys got the whole platoon smoked. Standing out in the freezing rain in shorts, t-shirts and rifles. I almost was the fourth man, but I got lucky. My rifle was only partially secured right, but the drill didn't get it off my locker. Wee he didn't cause he had 3 others in his arms. Oooh lucky. I won't ever make that mistake again. Ever.

Found out most things are good at home at this point. I guess Bear might lose his tail. Boy, that's difficult to handle. In a sense, it's all my fault. It never would have happened if I hadn't made the decision I did. That hurts, but I'm just glad he'll be okay. He's a great dog and I'm sad this had to happen, but I'm glad he's going to hang around. I wouldn't know what to do if I lost him.

Today - the 28th - we had a bunch of class crap we learned about the M-130 or AT4 anti-tank weapon. It's pretty cool, but not that great. We also studied our procedures with the radio, calling for med evac and shit like that. We also played with the M249 SAW (squad automatic weapon). Now that's a cool fucking rifle. 5.56 belt fed machine gun. Can't wait to fire that sucker.

Had a weird conversation with a Sgt. - not a drill just a sgt - this morning while guarding about 1/2 million dollars worth of M-249s.

Finally had a good diner. I got to finish: lasagna, mashed potatoes & gravy, corn, 2 pieces rye bread, two glasses of milk, cottage cheese, pasta salad with some jalapenos, olives and cheese and 4 soda crackers. The bread and milk are a good combo. They make you feel full which is nice. Tomorrow I will have the same thing for breakfast I've had every day since I've been here - scrambled eggs/bacon/1 piece toast with gravy/sliced potatoes/1 bagel/1 banana/1 glass milk/1 glass water/ 1 bowl of grits with one small box dry cereal mixed in. It all gets eaten together in one giant pile and near choking speed. If you have time to get it all down, it's good. Sometimes you barely have time to get a quarter of it down, and when they say, "You're done, Charlie" or "You're done, 1st." the shit in your mouth falls out and onto the plate and you go at a high rate of speed you pass off your shit or grab someone else, cause you always double rush to dump it in a highly organized fashion and then get outside in formation. 3 times a day.

Who knows what tomorrow holds - fireguard tonight sometime, church at 7:30 - 10:30 for me. I picked LDS. It's a 3 hour service, all the other services are 2 hours. It's actually a nice way to get away and even though you're with 50 people, it's quiet and you can have some peace and know you're not gonna get jumped for something at any moment. You just sit and listen and let your mind wander. We went back into white phase today. We were supposed to be a week ago, but are fuck ups. Well, not everyone, but the majority of the 200 are. We're actually supposed to start blue in a week which is the last phase of the basic part of OSUT. I don't know if we'll see blue or not. For all I know, I'll/we'll be back in red in a day or two. Red is total control all the time/ white is less/ blue is even less/ then black/ then gold/ then onto your duty station and the regular Army.

I've heard varying stories about where people are going. I've heard a lot are going to Ft. Campbell, KY. I really, really don't want to go there. So, I'm sure that's where I'll end up. I heard a couple people are getting Hawaii. I wish that was me. Then that rumor might be BS, like everything else. They know where most of us are going already, but we won't know for a while, I'm sure.

Ft. Campbell is 101st Airborne. If I go there I got that to look forward to, but honestly at this point I don't know how much I could take. Airborne is pretty rough and I'm beat to shit and got 11 more weeks here. I kinda am actually hoping for a Bradly or a Stryker unit at this point, but would not hesitate to take an Airborne or Air Assault or Ranger or Pathfinder slot if offered one. even as beat as I am, but I doubt I'll get offered one. Although, I am trying my damnedest. My sit-ups and push-ups are in the 100% zone. My running I guess is about 1 minute off of 100% but I got about 8 weeks to work on that, to get 300 points in PT. I can get 1 of only 2 medals you can realistically get here in basic. I already have a marksmanship medal - not the best but not the worst either & the 300 would get me the other one - EIC (Excellence in Cavalry award). We'll see about that.

I got Jason's mail last night. That was a great surprise. It sounds like things are going OK back home, but it also sounds like if I would have stayed I might be close to super fucked at this point. Doesn't sound like the work situation back home is all that good. Well it actually sounds worse than when I left over a month ago. From what little I can gather, it sounds like the DOW and stock and that shit are all in the toilet. Housing market is still f-d up. Job market is still going down and that Obama is doing a pretty fine job of fucking it all up, but that's just what I gather from little bits of shit here and there. It could be all BS, too. Well I am pretty positive the job and house situation back home is in the shitter, and I would be fucking done if I would have stayed there at home. I'm still curious as to how this will all play out by the time I am out in a few years. There's going to be a lot of weird shit I encounter on the road of life in the next few years, but all in good time.

Well, it's almost lights out. So, I am going to get this ready for the mail. Tomorrow will come way too fast. I hope all is well with everyone. Things are good as can be expected here. Talk to you all soon.

Scouts out
~Justin

If you ain't Cav, you ain't shit!

You wouldn't believe the amount of repetitive brainwashing that goes on around here. Some day I'll write down some of the sick, twisted cadences.

Like:

"Shoot em in the head. Shoot em in the head. Kill em."
"Fill the body bags. Fill the body bags. Fill em."

February 27th, 2009

2009-02-27T16:46:00.000-06:00

Well 9:30 again. What a fucking day. No obstacle course. It was torrential rain this morning so we just ruck marched in it for 5k then did some 240B training (big ass bled fed 308s - 7.62) and screwed with the M203 (that's a grenade launcher that fits on your M-16) then marched home. Did a bunch of crazy shit over and over. That's what happens when people fuck up which happens all the time. Before the ruck we got smoked. That's when they PT (physical training) as a sort of punishment. Sort of like rubbing a dog's nose in piss. Sort of things you keep doing push ups (front leaning rest) then thinking clear while lifting your rifle over your head then push up. People that put their knees down equal more, elbows not bent = more, complaining = more, grunts and groans = more, people just keep doing it. It goes on and one. I was to the point of just quivering, almost tears of pain in my eyes. Some people do cry. It's pretty painful.

At night we do this stupid shit:

At night or any time really, we do stupid fucked up shit. Like tonight. Drill Sergeant yells some set of instructions - i.e. get out side with full battle gear and ruck grounded and get in formation. You have 10 minutes. - all the sudden all hell breaks loose. You grab you body armor, Kevlar helmet, rucksack our of your wall lock and go to the front and arrange everything, which would be pretty hard to explain, but it's sort of a way the whole platoon organizes its shit.

February 26th, 2009 - Later that day

2009-02-26T16:41:00.000-06:00

Had land nav today and 240 Bravo training then night nav. Back at barracks at 10, 10:30 now. Fireguard at 3 and wake up at 4 then march at 5:30 to chow then to obstacle coarse.

Man this is fucked :)

February 26th, 2009 - Ash Wednesday

2009-02-26T16:12:00.001-06:00

7:30 - 8:30 pm

Just got out of a land navigation review course. Pretty much all day (7am - 5pm) was spent learning how to disassemble, reassemble, clear weapon, function check the BMG .50 aka M2 - .50 cal/MA Deuce - Belt fed 50 cal rifle, tripod or vehicle mounted. It's a big fucking rifle. Receiver and barrel total about 60 pounds. In two weeks we qualify on one we each get 100 rounds to practice with. That should be fun.

Tomorrow is the day land nav course. We have a map and compass and must locate 3 of 5 point out in the bushes in teams of four. I am worried it will be a cluster fuck like everything else, which I am sure it will be, but I start squad leader tomorrow of 1st squad. So, I'll have the ability to take control of my group. When you can't it's all f-d up (too many chiefs BS). Most groups will be like that. I was already PG once (platoon guide) - God that sucked. I'll have it again but probably not till close to the end of the cycle. Squad leader and PG suck. It's tons of responsibility, exposure and other peoples' BS you deal with and pay for, with no end result benefit.

It puts you up front in charge and responsible. I can do it. I just don't like to. One of the hardest things is a lot of the people you need to deal with are turds and that sucks. Good news for me is I can only have it for 4 days.

Mail call tonight. Still no mail. I don't know what is worse: not getting mail or not knowing when you might get mail. Before it was 'whatever' but over time I find myself hoping for it. It's not like I've been gone very long at all. I mean, shit, I've gone longer without family and friend contact and still been in the same town, or had a phone I could have picked up, but somehow when that ability is taken from you, it somehow takes on a whole different level of importance and necessity. I guess when that freedom is taken from you, you realize how important the need to be with family and friends is, and how the words of familiar people give you a strength and a peace of heart and mind. My mind also runs away with me and I always think the worst about what might be going on with my life at home while I am living here. The thought of family and friends and the dogs gives me a lot of strength to do good here, but wondering about how they are and having no way to find out also causes a lot of concern and a sad hopefulness that all is well. It is a strange place I find myself in now; never a moment alone yet completely isolated from the world I know. Here I function in two places: when I have to, I am here in the real world. Other times, when I can, I am some where else. I suppose it's just a way to pass time.

Well I hope all is good and everyone is OK.

Take Care

Scouts out
~Justin

Somtime between Feb 23 & Feb 25 (not dated)

2009-02-24T15:51:00.000-06:00

Hey there, everyone. How are things going? All is about the same here. We're 1/2 way into week 5 here. It seems like forever. We've been doing land navigation the past few days and will have some more later.

Tomorrow is .50 cal training. I'm sort of excited, but sort of not. I've already shot those, but it will be cool anyhow.

I had to qualify the other day for marksmanship. You get 40 rounds and have 40 targets. If you get less than 23, you fail and shoot again until you pass, but it's sort of like winning by forfeit. If you shoot 23-29, you are classified as a marksman. If you shoot 30-35 you are a sharpshooter. If you get 36-40 you are an expert and 40 is the best. You have to do this on your first go. I was in the first firing order so I shot at like 8 in the morning. It was cold as fuck - about 15 degrees, completely snowy and miserable - 70% of about 200 people were no goes on the first go round. I shot 36 rounds. I missed 4 and hit 32 on first go, giving me rank of sharpshooter. 4 rounds misfired, which pissed me off. I missed 4 shots fair, but those other four cost me expert at no fault of mine. Well at least I passed on first go and sharpshooter is nothing to be too bummed about. There were no experts out of all 200 and out of 35 in 1st platoon, there were only 4 sharpshooters. You also get to requalify if you want at your unit in a better environment, with a better rifle, magazine and ammo.

Anyhow, sharpshooter, that's my first award in the US Army. WHen I got the award the captain said the drill sergeants have had their eye on me and have been talking about me. The word is I've been doing a pretty good job and it's been noticed and to keep it up. How true? I don't know. Does it mean anything? I don't know, but it was good words of encouragement all the same. I hope I do finish all this doing above average at least.

I had to move bays. At first I thought I was fucked, but it turned out OK. I got put in the very end bunk. It's dark and quiet and far from all the BS near the CQ desk where my old room and bunk was. Here there are only 6 of us and 2 are leaving. One is a nut and I think might already be gone and the other is a blown shoulder. Both are nice guys but that will leave only 4 in our room. One of the guys is now my assigned permanent battle buddy, which means we always work together. The other two are battle buddies. One is kind of a dumb ass, but he's OK. The other one is pretty OK, too. Plus he's on 6 pack detail with me, so that's good having two of us in the same room.

Things have been getting a bit better the past few days. The drills aren't quite so crazy, but that comes and goes. The worst time for their craziness is 4am. I hope they're not crazy tomorrow. Plus, tonight, I got left off fire guard. A whole night's sleep, how nice! :-)

Well, I am going to crash and get the most out of my night.

Take care all. You're all in my thoughts.
~Justin

New Posts

2009-02-23T21:27:00.002-06:00

Hi all,

Morgan here. I just want you to know that I alter the dates on the posts to correspond with the date he is actually doing the writing. So, I just got a group of writings from January and more from February. So, go through the whole archive. If anyone wants to know about the Little Bear situation that Justin keeps mentioning in his writings, it's complicated. Essentially he whacked the end of his tail a LOT when he first got here. Because he continues to whack it, it won't heal. It appears that I am going to have to have it docked in hopes of keeping him healthy. If you believe in the power of positive thought and prayer, Little Bear could use all you have to spare right now.

February 22nd, 2009

2009-02-22T20:23:00.000-06:00

2030 - Free time - The drill Sgts seem to be hit and miss. They're starting to really hammer the shit bags and lay off the guys that do right, but there are still problems. People are are starting to act like little girls - gossip and rumors and BS. I just keep my mouth shut and leave it all alone and take mental notes of it all.

One thing that sucked is one guy, who is on a bit of a power high, didn't handle a situation correctly, and we lost our salad bar privileges which constitutes about 1/3 of every one of my meals, and a lot of other people too. That really sucks.

It's a constant push and pull/give and take crap. Always unaware of what is next.

I went to church today. Was still on 24 hour quarters, but I went any how. I'm fine and no one noticed. I'm not supposed to PT tomorrow, but I'm going to anyway. I don't think anyone will say anything because it was a dentist visit, not a med appointment.

Man I'm hungry. hehehe, this sux. We have to qualify tomorrow and ruck march 5k back from the range. Oh and I got assigned permanent 6 pack crew, which mean sI am part of a 6 man detail that loads all the crew shit in the humvee or stake side and travels in the back of that and not the big bus. I pulled 0230 fireguard again. What horse shit. Although I did get last night off. I just hate the last two shifts. There's no time to sleep between duty and wake up.

Some one from Bravo asked me today if it was true. If Charlie was the most fucked troop to be in. I just said, "sure, I guess." Apparently all of us were actually supposed to be in Hotel Company, but there was some problem with the barracks. So, we got Charlie. Apparently Hotel is the easiest company to be in, easier than Echo. I guess Hotel gets cell privileges, TV, and lax DFac privileges.

Oh, phone call - we also lost our 5 minute phone call along with salad bar - that little fucker - I haven't had a phone call for 3 weeks to the day. Hopefully I'll get some mail soon with some info on what is all going on back there.

I don't know when, but at some point I think Mom is getting a picture of me in my ACU* shit. I probably look like a jack ass.

Well looks like no mail call again. What a fucking shitter. 5 minutes till lights out. So, see you all. Hope everyone is well. Take care.

Scouts Out,
~Justin

*ACU - Army Combat Uniform

February 21st, 2009 - Later in the evening 1800

2009-02-21T19:33:00.000-06:00

Sitting in the barracks. I guess I'm on quarters for 24 hours. So everyone else is at chow and I sit here alone. All because of a tooth. Whatever. And the place you get prescriptions is closed on the weekend, so the Motrin I was supposed to get I can't get till Monday some time. So, what the fuck? Welcome to the Army.

Since I left the dentist it started snowing and has snowed about 1/2 an inch.

I'm hoping for mail tonight, but I doubt it. I'm hoping to get an early fire guard, but I doubt it. Wake up ain't till 0500 tomorrow. That's nice, but no church escape for me. Instead I'll clean, but that's ok, I don't mind.

Let's see, who are some of the other people around here? In my bay there are 8. Craig from Virginia.
Barno, he's is a skinny dude from Georgia.
Diel, a little short, feisty dude from back east somewhere.
Barns, he is an ex-cop from Maryland. He's close to my age.
Then there's Collins, young guy just out of high school, married with a new born kid.
Then there's Tony Anthony (everyone calls him Tony Tony), he's a truck driver from Tennessee and has a pretty good accent. He's in his late 20s. He's a real good guy.
Then btween him is Brown, little, short, quiet guy. Real nice and real quiet.
Then me. I got lucky. Our bay is all good people. Most of the other bays have anywhere from 1 to 8 total shit bags. I'll tell you about some of them in time.

Barns is this skinny black kid from Georgia. I don't think he's got much family to speak of, but he's got a pretty cute girl he adores. He carries her picture everywhere and even sleeps with it. Sometimes he is a bit spastic and slow on the go, but he's a real cool guy. And for an 18 year old, he's got his shit together a bit more than most of the others. He's been sick a lot and is close to his max 40 hours that you can miss, and the other day he also tore his rotators cuff. What a bummer deal. I wouldn't be surprised if he recycles. I'm sure I'll write more about him some day.

Craig - his bunk's across from mine. He is the one who missed a few days because he had pneumonia and he is a bit older - a construction worker - at first he was real slow and sort of lethargic, now he is a squad leader and all of the sudden he is a loudmouth, but in a good way. He gets real pissed off at all the younger privates.

Man, I wonder what's in store for us tonight. God only knows.

The food here is actually pretty good. You just don't get very much and it's a pain in the ass to get it. The whole process and all, but it's also screwy. They have donuts, cake, ect. you can take, but if you do you're fucked. If you try to take too many servings of bread, you're fucked. If you fill your salad bowl over the rim, you're fucked. If you don't drink a glass of water first, if you don't carry your glass of water with both hands, the rules go on and on and on and frequently they change. Breaking the rules can result in anything from yelling and screaming to being cut off of salad bad, or the whole platoon loses salad bar, or the whole platoon is instantly finished with dinner. That one really sux. You might just sit down and have to spit your first bite out and evacuate the D-Fac (dining facility). Whoops gotta go, platoon's back from chow.

2100 - Free time till 2130. The drills been being decent and I don't have fireguard tonight and wake up is at 0500, Cool. I'm 48 hours PT free. I get to sleep, eat and have a little muscle recovery. All for the cost of one tooth.

Well, no mail tonight :-( Oh well. Copied notes on basic map reading from Tony Tony. Nothing was taught I didn't already know. So, that's good. Lights out in 5 minutes.

February 21st, 2009

2009-02-21T01:22:00.000-06:00

Well, it's 1230. I've been up since 0230 and sitting here at the dentist since 0700. Apparently I have a dental appointment today. I guess they Army has decided that to remove my last wisdom tooth. One I've had for 18 years and have never had a problem with. The one my local dentist opted to leave because it is just there causing no problem. Go figure.

So, my Land Navigation (basic map reading) started today. How nice. One thing I was looking forward to, I get to miss. Good thing I know how to read maps and navigate incredibly well, but it puts me down 8 hours. If you miss 40 hours of training, you get recycled. What a fuck job. This shit is starting to kill me. I thought it would be ok at least a little, cause there is a TV here. I wanted to watch the news, but there are 9 of us here and everyone else wants to watch music videos - go figure. I'll get to see a little bit of news. Apparently, they make you not train for 2 days after a tooth extraction. Which means I might miss training Monday. God, I hope not!

I hope the blog is working to some extent. I still am also looking for real mail. Every day I look forward to mail call. I usually figure there won't be anything, but I still look forward to it, just in case. It is (mail call that is) a big part of everyone's day. People that get mail are stoked. People that don't are bummed. I'm pretty reserved about it, but I still look forward to possibly having it.

Well here I sit minus all my wisdom teeth now. Well, I only had one left. Now I have none. It wasn't so bad, although I'm sure it will hurt like hell later. I got 24 hours quarters and no PT for 48 hours. I guess that will be a good excuse for the DS. They can chew my ass for being a pussy even thought it wasn't my call. I won't get to go to church and I will be forced to clean the barracks while everyone else is at church. Yeah, I can't wait. It's 1430 now and raining like cats and dogs. Still just sitting here waiting for the last dental to finish. He is a pretty cool guy. His name is Kerr. He is in Charlie 2nd Platoon. He is from Utah. He is pretty gun savvy and knew enough to ask why the hell I would have BORS. When I told him, he knew what .416 was. He's National Guard but has to do 4 active and 4 reserve. I think maybe that is what I should have done. Active National Guard. Those guys get paid a lot, but oh well. He's 28 so he was pretty easy to talk to and understand. He's the last one. The other guy here waiting with me now is Bales. He is this big ol giant son of a bitch with a serious southern type drawl. Thought he is from Tennessee, most people kind of treat him like he's a dullard. I think it's just his drawl. Although he is the idiot that blew his knee up to get out and openly said he was considering suicide. Shit, I don't care. He is a pretty nice guy and I get along with him. He is also National Guard. He is also from Charlie 1st platoon like me.

Kerr had a friend who was in Charlie last cycle and broke his hip and got recycled to Alpha company. He talked to him during the black outs a few weeks ago and supposedly verified what everyone is saying, well guys I've talked to from Delta, Echo and Fox - that Charlie is a nightmare of a company to be in. It's the hardest company at Ft. KNox. Well for OSUT (Basic/AIT). All Cav Scouts come from Ft. Knox. So there is lots who can verify this or discredit it.

In October, the Scout program goes to Ft. Benning and no more knox - gotta go.

February 20th, 2009

2009-02-20T00:27:00.000-06:00

Back to the journal. Spent the last few times writing Mom. It's hard to find the time to write to both. Last night I fell asleep writing. Was at the shooting range every day for the last week. I don't think I did so hot today. I think my rifle is fucked, but that doesn't matter. I'll get a chance to qualify when I'm out of Basic, but for now I will just get by Monday with the rifle I was issued, which is seriously a P.O.S.. Tomorrow we are supposed to start land navigation classes. I'm good at that so I'm looking forward to that. It will be mostly basic map reading, I suppose, tomorrow.

Did lots of PT yesterday. Like 200 push ups and 200 sit ups in about an hour. That part killed. Well, I've been in actual Basic Combat Training for 1 month today. A new cycle just started today. "E" company (Echo). They all look scared shitless. hehehehe :-)

I was told we might not get to do the rappel tower. If that is true, I will be really upset. That is one of the things I was looking forward to, but you never know. Everything here is 95% BS.

As you might know, I am in OSUT (one stop unit training) and I am doing it as a 19 Delta or Cavalry Scout. So, instead of 8 weeks of Basic and 8 weeks of AIT which is general Basic and Advanced Individual Training. All 16 weeks for me is like Basic, but not geared for general soldiers. It's 16 weeks geared specifically for cavalry scouts, which is one of the more intense trainings for an Army MOS There are a few others but not at an entry level. So, it's pretty intense. Well it turns out - so intense that the Cav Scout companies at Ft. Knox have one of the largest AWOL rates in the whole Army, and it has a high self injury and suicide rate (well attempted) for the Army. Since I've been here, I've seen people that said they were going to kill them self, 3 people injure them self and several on purpose (like purposely dislocating a shoulder and blowing a knee to get out), and 8 AWOLs from our initial 120 man platoon. It's only been 30 days in here. That's not good. There are rumors that they are going to change OSUT to Basic/AIT like all other MOS to stop this.

In Basic, you have zero freedom. In AIT you get freedom just like living at a college dorm. In OSUT it's like Basic on steroids for 16 weeks instead of 8. They might even do it at the we graduate Basic and the 8 week mark. I don't care one way of the other. I personally would probably have more success in a Basic/AIT situation, but I like knowing that OSUT is the hard way and I would like to just see it through, but that that is not for me to decide. I just get sick of the yelling and belittling of people, but I do realize that without that control this place would be a fucking chaotic disaster all day. Too many numb-nuts here.

It does get old though. Every morning my first thought is pretty much, "Oh, fuck. I'm still here." and "Shit, another day of this hell." But it's good. I'm learning a lot and gaining a strong understanding of things. I'm getting more and more fit daily and am able to run pretty respectable now. 14:50 - 2 miles. I'd like to do 14:00 in the test.

I'm not sure if I told you, but one of the drill sergeants asked me where I wanted to go. I told him I didn't care where. I wasn't going to get what I wanted anyhow. He said yeah, most people don't ever get what they want, but he still wanted to know where I picked. I told him Alaska. He said, "Oh, shit. You'll definitely get that one, because no one ever wants to go there. It's too fucking cold and too many bugs and the sun stays up for months." apparently most people that go there, don't choose to. So, maybe I'll get what I wanted. On the down side, if it is Alaska is a Cav-Scout Stryker base. So, as opposed to Airborne or Light unite, like a Bradly unit; whatever, I would be in a Stryker unit. Which I suppose isn't bad, but guys that go to Stryker units apparently have to stay at Knox for an extra two weeks of Stryker training. That doesn't sound real fun. Although Strykers are pretty cool. I don't know what would be better: Scout with a Bradly or Cav Scout Stryker. Personally, I want Cav Scout Airborne, but we'll just see what happens.

Damn, lights out and I got fire guard tonight at 0230 - 0330 and wake up at 0400. God, this sucks. Sleep deprivation sucks.

Basic graduation or more Family Day for us (the Cav Scouts/OSUT) is March 27-29. I should get out Friday night, Saturday and be back Sunday for dinner. Not much time, so probably not much anyone will want to go to, but anyone is welcome that wants to come. Graduation as a Cav Scout is May 14th. That's the one I'm looking forward to, which any one is welcome to come to also. The BCT one I figure it's only 2.5 days. most people won't want to go so I'm, at this point, planning on getting a cheap motel for 3 days, eating pizza and Chinese take out and taking a long ass hot shower, sleeping and watching movies for 2 days.

Oh, back to that thought on Alaska. I think that is one of the bases where they teach arctic warfare. That would be cool. Ft. Lewis, my other pick, teaches mountain warfare. That would be cool, too. I don't know what would be best. Arctic in Alaska or Mountain in Washington. They also do that in Colorado and New York or desert some place like Ft. Irwin in Barstow or some place in Texas. Like I said, I'll just have to wait and see. It's a long road to get to that point. 3 more months here and I'm beat to hell already after only 1 month.

Thanks for the supplies. You and Mom both sent some. So, I've got plenty of paper, pens and stamps for quite a while. So, thanks again.

It's still really freaking cold here and flat, well rolling hills. Cold and lumpy. Just like my breakfast.

I hope Bear is doing good. I miss him terribly and can't wait to see him again, and the girls. I'm dying to see them again. Probably still one of the worst parts (well the worst part) of this whole experience so far.

Well, I'm super tired. I'll end this journal and send it out tomorrow and start some more tomorrow or Sunday.

Take care, all :-)

~Justin

February 16th, 2009

2009-02-16T00:22:00.000-06:00

Beat up again. So damn tired and I got fire guard at 0230-0330 and wake up at 0400. Woohoo. I can actually almost sleep standing up now, but I'm always afraid I'll drop my rifle.

Learned how to set up radio communications today. Mostly set up, radio check and med-evac. We'll be tested on that soon.

Tomorrow we road march and use the rifle simulator again.

Had to run 2 miles for a guide for the PT test. At my age, 19 minutes will pass me. I did it in 14:50. That's not the best but it is passing for the 18-21 age group, even, and it will get me a 100% score. So, that's good.

woo, my letter's kind of listing here. (he was writing more and more to the side of the page)

Oh and we had 2 more go AWOL today. I think the total now is 8 crazy fuckers. Anyhow, take care, all!

Justin :-)

February 15th, 2009

2009-02-15T18:39:00.002-06:00

It's funny how as people start to get comfortable in their surroundings their attitudes change, or start to. I see people here who their inner ass really starts shine, people who need to be controlling, people who act as if all the rules apply to everyone but them. That saying - that you'll see every type in the Army - really holds true and I'm sure will be something I will talk about again sometime. Right now it's almost 6am. We've been up cleaning for about 2 hours. It's Sunday, so mostly we won't get fucked with today. Beds have to be all made like you see it in the movies. Lockers all have to be organized exactly the same. Boots and shoes displayed all the same under the bed.

I also notice a huge amount of shit talk. He said, or I heard this or that, but I've come to realize you can't buy into any of it. Process it for what it most likely is and that is most likely BS.

Church day and cleaning all day. most people you find seem to be in pretty good moods around here on Sundays. Tomorrow we go to some basic marksmanship and commo (communications) classes. I think Land Nav courses are coming up soon, too. Family day and BCT graduation is end of March, but I expect that anyone who might want to come should plan on May 15for OSUT* graduation. That's the end of the whole training cycle. If no one comes for family day, I plan on having someone sign me out - go figure at 37 years old I can't check myself out, I have to get someone else parents to do it for me - I'll probably get a taxi and have them take me to some cheap ass motel in Louisville so I can sleep for 2 days, watch TV - especially the news, order a pizza and take a long, hot shower.

I think we're going to the pit tonight. That's gonna suck. It's cold out and I'm tired. CID** is here investigating all the people who lied on their apps to get in. Mostly criminal shit, I think. Thank God my name wasn't called.

Now that it's starting to ease up, it's getting a little squirrelly. Quite a bit of aggression and a lot of immaturity. What is really fucked is about 10 of the 35 in 1st pretty much got their shit together but the other 25 are just a bunch of retarded monkeys. Two more guys went AWOL again out of 2nd platoon. We're also loosing two more - one to a dislocated shoulder and one with cracked shins. Well I'm going to bed. No fire guard tonight so I am hitting the sack.

Please write back and let me know how Little Bear is doing. Well, take care, all.

Scouts Out
~Justin :-)

*OSUT - One Station Unit Training
**CID - Criminal Investigative Division

February 14th, 2009

2009-02-14T18:11:00.001-06:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, EVERYONE!

So, what's new? Not too much. Today we went into white phase. Doesn't mean a whole lot. The drills are still mostly mean, but they also are showing their real sides. most likely we'll fuck something up and go back into red, then the drills will go nuts again. Whatever. Blue is in 3.5 weeks from now. If we make it.

We were at the range all day practicing for rifle qualification. We shot at 75-175 and 300 meter targets. I did above average, but we'll see. We qualify Tuesday. It was cold as hell today. We still march everywhere we go. Sometimes, we take old school buses, but mostly march. Everywhere we go we have to wear what they call FULL BATTLE RATTLE. That includes our IBA (Industrial Body Armor and plates) that is about 20 pounds, our kevlar helmet, glasses, pads and M-16 rifle, and about a 25 pound rucksack. Doesn't sound like too much but after all day it gets heavy. One of the first things I'm doing when I get out of here getting a back massage.

I think we'll be training most next week with our M-16 at the range. We do have a bunch of other weapons we have to qualify with. I think that up next might bethe 249 (5.56 belt-fed rifle), the 240B (7.62 belt-fed) and the .50 cal belt-fed rifles. I'll tell you all about the stuff as we qualify. There's not much to the M-16 other than to say they're total hunks of shit, that would go for about 20K on the black market. I would like to have the trigger group out of one for the three round burst, but that ain't happening.

Had to go to the PX again and get a hair cut. $5 and I swear nothing comes off. What a rip. :-) Got some stamps, a pencil, paper and few razors. Yeehaw! Everyone else had mountains of shit. You have to understand - this sounds normal, but what you don't know is that to do it we have to form up a platoon, march across "Disneyland" (our living area) over to the shopette. We then stand in an hour long line for the ATM, move 2 steps at a time, going from "attention" and moving then stopping and going to "at ease" then attention and move and over and over and over. Then we travel in pairs to get our haircut. We stand in line for about 1 hour, then sit in chairs in order for about 20 minutes, moving like robots skipping chair to chair. Finally, we get in the chair. They shave our heads, we hold the money up, they take it, push our change in our hand and we move off to the store. Where there is all kinds of stuff to buy, but you can only have authorized items, and if you get caught trying to buy a non-authorized item, you're screwed. The whole time you do all of this, you walk like a robot - head and eyes straight forward - you listen to everything and watch only where your peripheral vision which is hard cause there is all kinds of craziness going on all around and if you get caught looking at something that's none of your business - which is everything - you'll get smoked, or sometimes they'll smoke the whole platoon on your behalf. The whole time screaming, "Buddy fucker. Don't be a buddy fucker." instead of counting.

Man going to the firing rangs is a whole gigantic process that would take a manual to explain.

1) you get off the bus and form up - then you ground your ruck, then move to the bleachers for briefing, then you file out - move down the firing line, well anyhow, I'm not going to explain this. It will take forever. Just let me say: It takes all day long.

Everyone here, well the privates I mean, are slowly being worn down - Lights out - talk to you later.

scouts out
~Justin :-)

February 11th, 2009

2009-02-11T21:16:00.002-06:00

Man, long day. Been up since 0200 and it's 2200 now. Have to get up at 2330 for fire guard then sleep at 0030, then up again at 0400.

Today was pretty fun. We got to go to the range today. We got to group our rifles. Tomorrow we go again and we'll zero our rifles. Something a normal human can do in an hour takes us days and 5 million push ups to get done. If you suck, you basically got to shoot all day till you got a 5 round group. I shot in the first section at about 8 in the morning, took five shots, got my group and stood around until 1530. Some people shot several hundred rounds and handful didn't even get a group of 5. Well at least training has started for sure. Tomorrow is the official start of white phase, but I don't know what will happen. It's strange how living like this starts to affect people. Sides of who people really are start to emerge. You really start to get an idea of how different and diverse people are.

Well, it's 12:30 am. Just got off guard. It's amazing how scared people will get around drill sergeants who are acting like asses. I just do what I'm supposed to and if they come after me, well then they do. But I just try to block them out.

Well I hope all is well with everyone. We'll be at the range for the next week. I'll let you all know how things go.

*Side note for you - please let me know how Little Bear is doing. At this point I don't know what else to do but keep him in my heart and prayers.

*If you have a few extra stamps and envelopes, I could use a few

*Tell everyone hello and I'll talk to them soon

~Justin :-)

Once again, I (morgan) have sent him stamps and envelopes. I think he should have them by now!

February 10th, 2009

2009-02-10T19:26:00.001-06:00

Today was pretty fun. We did marching this morning for about 4 miles. Then we did the bayonet coarse. It was raining cats and dogs and a muddy mess. We run up and down hills over barrier and tunnels and stabbing the little people on the TL. Screaming like idiots the whole way. 34 of us made it through in 8 minutes. One guy went through by himself in 7.5 minutes. Our total was 15.5 minutes. Therefore we lost the over all. All for one guy who couldn't do it. I didn't care about winning, I just had fun, but we got smoked for loosing. Then we marched about a mile to the gas chamber.

Now that's something else. You go in this concrete bunker with 25 guys, you have your mask on and you can breathe fine, but you're skin starts to burn all over. you then close your eyes and hold your breath and pull your mask off. If you breathe or open your eye at this point you'd be fucked. Then you put back on, purge the mask and then check the seal. At this point if you followed directions your eyes burn a little and you taste it a little. Then you take your masks off in groups of 5. I was in the 2nd group so I got to watch first five. Oh shit they looked like they were dying. They're all screaming and choking. Snot and spit and foam is frothing out their mouths. One guy started screaming. He couldn't breath. "Oh shit" I was thinking. Then it was my turn. I pulled mine off. You can see, but your eyes are on fire (shit I just found out I have fire guard at 0330 tonight and we get up at 0400 = 4 hours of sleep for the 2nd week in a row) then it starts to get into your throat and lungs and I tell you what, it does feel like you're choking out. You are breathing but you can't get hardly any air and it feels like you're inhaling pure campfire smoke X 10,000. Several guys in my group started puking. I just stood there and kept trying to breath as foam and saliva sprayed out of my mouth. Waiting, waiting finally they open the door and I got the hell out. Then you flap your arms and don't touch anything for about 10 minutes. Walking around checking my eyes are open and my arms are flapping over and over. It was pretty frickin cool. Most people hated it. I really thought it was fun though not a good all the time thing.

Then we stood in the pouring rain with burning skin and bloodshot eyes for about an hour waiting for everyone. Then we marched home, showered , went to chow in the pouring rain, came back, went over what we do tomorrow and then everyone cleans over and over and over and over and over.

Now I'm on free time that could at any moment if some jack ass pulls something and there is no end to the type of stupidity that can cause all hell to break loose at any moment and we're out in the rain crawling around in the mud at midnight who knows.

I hope Bear's tail can be saved. He has a pretty tail and I would hate to see him lose it, but his life is what's important. I left the decision to you. You will do what is best and I will be ok with that. Though in my heart I would hate to see him lose such a big part of who he is and what makes him what he is.

It's barely been three weeks in BCT and what I wouldn't give for an hour with a masseuse, a 6 pack of Bud and an all you can eat Chinese Buffet and a quiet, sound night's sleep in my own bed. :-)

I just got the results of my PT test. Not bad, 45 push ups, 46 sit ups in 1 minute and to graduate the whole 16 week course I have to do 30 something of each and 50 something for a perfect score. I also have 18 minutes to run two miles to pass. I should do it in about 14 minutes. That would get me a perfect. I think we start rifle training tomorrow. That should be good.

Hope everything is well with everyone. If anyone has any stamps or envelopes to send, feel free if you like.* I'm out and I don't know when we get to the PX again. Anyhow, talk to you all later.

Take care,
Justin :-)

*I already sent a bunch.

February 9th, 2009

2009-02-09T18:56:00.000-06:00

So, ok, back to the journal. I don't actually get much time to write at this point and given the phone situations, the last two times I wrote I sent letters to Mom and Morgan just cause I needed to. They should hopefully post those letters on the blog as part of the journal.

What what is new: We're in week three still red phase pt 2 (eventually we go through blue, black and gold). I passed my basic combat training 1 test and my combat medic test. Not too hard. We've also completed basic rifle bayonet course and had our first pugil battles. I got put against some big, ole, dumb, 20 year old guy. He got a few good licks in, but over all I kicked his ass, till he actually tried to run off while I was chasing him and beating him in the back of the head. Drill Sergeants jumped his shit pretty hard for being a quitter, but I had a good time. He did crack my eyebrow ope a bit. I don't know why, but that always happens to me.

Tonight we got sent to the pit. That was some fun shit. Well I thought so. You have to low crawl about fifty yards on your belly in sand and mud shit. Then get up and sprint up a hill then sprint back down and low crawl through it (this means you're face down in it). I got road rash all over my forehead. Then you repeat two more times doing back crawl. I thought it was great; most others didn't.

This morning we did our run. Oh shit, I screwed that up. The other day we did our PT test. I was feeling good so I ran what I thought should about a 7+ minute mile putting me in the Bravo PT group for running. That's the slow fuckers. Well, I ran a 6:30 putting me in Alpha. Oh crap! So today we ran about 3 miles. I am beat to shit. Especially after everything else. Tomorrow we go to the real gas chamber. We'll go through it, the last time was just getting us familiar with the shit. Then we go to some bayonet obstacle course and the a 3 mile road march. In what order, I don't know. Everything we do we have to pass. It's not an option - pass or fail - failure is not a good option.

I gotta get up at 0400 to get the barrack in order. It's 11pm now. I just got off fire guard. The barracks were a shit hole after the pit. I'm in a room with 7 other guys. Most rooms have 8 people. There are 35 of us in 2st platoon. Same thing with 2-3-4 platoons, all are Charlie Company. They all live on the upper floor. We have 3 toilets and 2 showers. What a disaster. I did pretty goof for a while flying under the radar, but now it's getting hard to not cause I'm a fuck up because I'm twice most everyone's age. There are a few older guys, but they're pretty broken. I keep up and actually do physically well. I'd say I do physically better than 80% of the guys here. Which after a while draws attention when they know I'm 37 and everyone else is 17-25. I still get left alone a lot. Shit I do that other guys might get 100 push ups for, I'll get 10-20. I think cause a lot of the younger guys are really squirrely. They also know that the old guys just do what they're supposed to be doing. It's still rough. The constant yelling and degradation gets old. It's not directed at me much, but it's still hard to listen to all day and night.

Well, I gotta go to bed. There's going to be lots of interesting things to come, I think. Things way more interesting than what I've been writing about. The good stuff is just getting going. It is tough we don't have regular basic. Our basic is geared specifically for us and about one of the hardest trainings the Army has to offer. It's supposed to get real bad with a bout 50% attrition rate.

Week three and we're down to 30 from 35. I don't know about the other platoons and companies. Well, like I said, there will be fun stuff coming later this week. I think we start our marksmanship stuff. Everyone is looking forward to that. Well I'll write again in a day or so.

Scouts Out!

- Some other little things

I should start writing down some of the cadences.
Another thing we do is in all classes we can't stil till told to do so. So the DS will say "TAKE SEATS" and we reply with, "Scouts in the backwoods, scouts in the hills, scouts on the war path stacks up the kill, to sets of track tearin' up the sod. I'm a bad ass scout, I'm a devil by god. We are the cavalry" then we stomp our feet twice and yell "mount up" Then we get to sit. And you realize that all this is sounded off at a deafening yell.

SCOUTS OUT

February 7th, 2009

2009-02-07T17:37:00.000-06:00

Just so you know, this should be the third letter you have received, and I sent one to Mom.

Have a med test today. I hope I pass. I should. The material isn't that difficult.

I hope you can have time to just drop a line and let me know how things are going and if you know any one that would like a letter, just give them my address and have them include whatever info I need to get them a letter. Without phone or computer the only thing I really have to do here is write letters in my free time. Plus it would be nice to hear from some people I know so I can have something to relate back home. Something other than this here.

Take care, JCB

February 6th, 2009

2009-02-06T17:29:00.000-06:00

So hey what is up? Same old shit here. Last two days and tomorrow is all about combat medicine. Sunday I'll probably go to church again, and get a rash of shit for it again. I hear we have another road march Monday, but you never know around here.

It's funny, I've been gone 3 weeks and it's strange how you start to miss things. Especially when everything is out of your control. There's a guy that just showed up in Charlie Company, 3rd Platoon. He was on week 13 of 16 and he got caught with a power bar, well two power bars and using someone's cell phone and is now back at week two. I still really don't know how they can do that type of stuff. It really kills me about the phone situation also.

I guess I am just going to keep plugging along. I hope I get a trip to the PX* soon. This will be my last letter out till I get more. I think we might go Sunday.

I have no idea what has happened in the news in the past three weeks (I almost got caught writing this letter - haha)** Whatever. Well, I am about to pass out. Say HI to everyone. Tell Bear I love him, even though he won't know it's from me :-). Hope all is good. Hope to hear from somebody someday.***

(signed) PFC JC Ball

*Post Exchange
**He is allowed to write letters, but I (morgan) would guess he was writing it outside of the allotted time.
***I know he has been sent letters - I just don't think he's rec'd any yet. I think the more he gets the better, though.

February 5th, 2009

2009-02-05T17:16:00.000-06:00

Hey, all. What's going on? How are things going there? Things are good here. Still just trucking along. Same old shit everyday, but after two weeks it is just routine, and we're doing a lot funner shit now. Some people are are starting to come together and form cohesive teams. Some people just struggle. A few people I feel real bad for. They just get a never-ending rash of shit.

At least I'm two weeks in now. Not too long, but it is better than two days in. In October Cav Scout school moves to Ft. Benning, GA. Think it is strange too how small a MOS 19S is. Only a few hundred every year. And after this, no more will come from Ft. Knox.

I think next week will be warmer, but I think it will get cold again. I keep hoping to get a phone call, but I just don't know. And when you do, it's only a few minutes. I still don't understand how they have the right to not give you phone time.

The guy across from me has pneumonia, but he is getting over it. I've been told that as we progress through the phases we get more privileges. For the next three days we're doing medical training.

My three favorite times of day are chow. They feed you real good food at chow just not a lot. The other day I had to get my hair cut. I don't think a single hair came off. I sitll got charged $5.00, which sucks because I needed that money for stamps and envelopes and some more paper,* but I really didn't have a much say so in the matter.

Well, I gotta go to bed. I got fire watch in two hours. I'll send this out later.

*Don't send him these things. I (morgan) already have.

Mailing Address

2009-02-04T09:59:00.003-06:00

PFC Ball, Justin C.
CTRP 5-15 CAV
5938 - Wilson Rd
Fort Knox, KY 40121

I (morgan) don't know what you can send him other than letters. I am sure you could find a website for the AIT and see what the policies are.

February 2nd, 2009

2009-02-02T17:00:00.000-06:00

Hey there. How's it going? Good here. We're finally starting to do fun stuff; today we did a bunch of crap with CS* gas masks and took a little march with them on, but we didn't get gassed today :-(. Tomorrow, we're supposed to do pugil stick crap, but rumors are rampant here. You can't believe anything you hear. I'm still sore as hell but getting stronger, and the most painful stuff is working its way out. I've been sick as hell, but I think I'm getting over it. Tons of people are are just starting to get the same stuff I am getting over. A few guys got it real bad.

It's 2145 now. I have fireguard at 0000 until 0100. The Wake up is at 0400 for PT. The weather is getting nicer here. We ran about 5 miles today. I just imagine I'm back home on the bike path with Bear. It helps me not stop. If you stop you bring down the wrath upon yourself.

Two guys went AWOL last night. They're already in jail. Ft. KNox is approximately 150 square miles. They didn't really have a chance. And it's a time of war. They're screwed.

Tonight was mail night. It was pretty cool seeing how excited everyone gets. A lot of crying for joy. A lot of bummed out faces too. I wrote a letter to mom the other day, but it won't go out till tomorrow. Maybe this one will go out with it.

I suppose Tom might be home now, or will be soon. That must be good. After BCT there is only a 2-day family thing and graduation is mid May. That's all I know for now. Just so you know, I don't get email access here and pretty much no phone calls. So I'm really sort of in the dark here. I wish that was different, but it is what it is. It's funny, you can't believe anything anyone says around here.

I hope I get lucky and go someplace interesting for my post station. I find out in about 8 weeks where I will go. I like it here. I think it takes a certain sort of crazy to like this. It's challenging; it pushes you in ways I never thought about. I do feel a sort of guilt and emptiness still about the dogs. And I hope when I am finished here and ready to move on with the next step I don't come back to my life all fucked up. If you are still doing the net thing for me, you can post this letter too.

Well, I need to get a few hours sleep. Say hello to everyone. I hope Bear is behaving. I miss him lots. If you can write back, put my last name first on the envelope (PFC Ball, Justin C.) or I will get smoked.

*CS - A nerve agent

January 30th, 2009

2009-01-30T21:48:00.000-06:00

Saturday - getting ready for chow. Just found out that hopefully we'll actually do something today. I've been in Kentucky for 15 days now and BCT* for 8. Seems like I'm just sitting here going stir crazy.

Hope all is well. Tell everyone "hi" and sorry I can't call or email. If you can, please let me know how Little Bear is doing. Camas and Cotton, too if you can find out.

*BCT - Basic Combat Training

January 30th, 2009

2009-01-30T21:41:00.000-06:00

Still frozen here. The past few days the food really sucks. A lot of people complaining about being hungry. Some people get run out and eat a lot less than others. I'm doing ok. I don't mind. Today we took our first shower in 3 days. 3 guys didn't ever get one. Mine was approximately 15 seconds. There are rumors that we might start training tomorrow. Some also say Monday. A few guys are on the verge of getting recycled and/or discharged. Apparently this boot camp has about a 50% attrition rate. You either really fuck up and they discharge you or get recycled, but this is the last Charlie Troop. So, if I get recycled, I would end up sitting for about 2 months then starting all over at Fort Benning.

Apparently, there is one drill sergeant who has been physically smacking on kids upstairs, but who knows?

January 29th, 2009

2009-01-29T19:18:00.002-06:00

Power is still out. I heard it's about 600k people in the KY/IL area, but who knows where that info came from. Even though they are feeding us without power, or maybe it's the phase where I'm not getting enough calories, I am hungry a lot; not in my stomach but in my body.

We were supposed to be dry-firing rifles today but because of the weather we're cooped up. They assign squad leaders today. They tell you (they being basic graduates) you need to take this up on your own, but here any way it's not so. It's assigned. The 3 they assigned are knuckleheads. I think that's the point. They need that type of challenge.

Turns out there is a kid from Nampa and one from Meridian in my platoon. I got put in 1st squad which turns out to mostly have all good guys. Well at least none of the really fucked up kids. So, here at basic it is: 5-15 Cavalry, Charlie Company, 1st Platoon, 1st Squad (this is just for basic and AIT). Hell-raiser recon was just a temp name. All these guys are trying to come up with a new, quick name for our platoon.

I hope this weather does not throw the schedule off too much. The storm looks like it's going to cause all of Basic to push back about a week. We're supposed to be shooting and doing obstacle courses the last two day. This place is too funny.

Everywhere you go, it's like the March of the Penguins. I have to say some of the cadences are pretty cool. We do all kinds of strange crap. Like when we eat 3 times a day: we form up and march about blocks with the DS to a cadence. Then to get into the chow hall, we have to do this weird ass crap as a platoon:

DS says - Head uncover
we quickly put our hands on our hat
DS says - remove cover
we say - snap, zero zero one zero zero two zero zero three zero zero four zero zero five
by then we have to have our hats in our pocket.
The DS will excalim: TOO SLOW
we reply - Awe, shit!
DS says - Awe, shit!
then the whole thing repeats a second time and after that part we step out attention.
DS says - what is the order of chow?
we reply - Dumb Drill Sergeant, you know the deal. The order of chow is 1-2-3-4*, Drill Sergeant.
Then we say: 1-2-3-4. Get the door, door man. Get the door, door maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. Boom! Charlie Company is in the house
Then the door man from the back yells - if you ain't Cav,
Then we yell back - You ain't shit.
then we file into t chow by the platoon order, and everyone has to clear their rifle as they pass.

We have to recite all types of songs, rhymes and chants and shit. I will write some more later. For now my batteries are dying in my light.

*Those are the platoons and how they enter the chow hall.

January 28th, 2009

2009-01-28T18:53:00.003-06:00

1930 - A giant ice storm has hit the area. I don't know anything about what is going but all the power is out. We ate a shit dinner, an MRE might have been better.

This place is so exhausting. Everything is so regimented. I don't get yelled really at all. I keep my head down and do what I'm asked, stay quiet and put forth the best effort I can when at PT*. Everyone else just seems to be on different pages. And just listening to the DS's** is annoying beyond belief. Some, you can tell, are good people ,but it's just retarded how everything is done. So far we're geared up but haven't really done much. The ice storm shut down our first obstacle course today.

We'll get there. Listening to everyone, most want to be snipers, airborne, air assault, ranger, ect. Some will. Some won't. We'll see. I hope I do good. We've lost one person with a blown knee. I see several others limping. I know a few who are having trouble with their back and shoulders. Lots are sick; coughing all the time. Some just can't get with the program, and it's only been 7 days. I think a lot will get cut.

My back is really gone, my left shoulder is too, and so is my left knee. The other night 35 people ran up and down three flights of stairs for about 1.5 hours. That's what got my knee. The ice is scary. I've seen probably 20-30 people eat shit running or walking. My neck is starting to hurt also. I really can't fail. That would be terrible. I hope I start to feel better.

Hopefully we'll start getting to do some stuff soon.

You are never alone here, and there is noise. Yelling, screaming, banging, etc. 24 hours a day.

It's amazing. I am not sad about this decision, but I really miss home. What I wouldn't give for a night back home with the dogs and a little peace and quiet and a good night's sleep. I literally could fall asleep on my feet if I was allowed to.
I think one thing that sucks about this is that I don't need motivation to succeed, which is what I think a lot of the people here need. Hence the regimented yelling and shit.

I think I would be be more focused and relaxed if I knew everything was good at home and with the dogs. I can't stand how we can't use the phone. A single call would be great right now, or a letter. I suppose it seems like all I write is negative. I think that will change soon though. Well we will see what happens. I want to do this, but I feel so out of touch with reality sometimes.

*PT - Physical Training
**DS - Drill Sergeant

January 26th, 2009

2009-01-26T17:58:00.000-06:00

Haven't written in a few days.

This place is mentally and physically exhausting. You only get 3-4 hours of sleep at most. You constantly are forced to do PT to the point of total muscle failure and you're constantly being screamed at. Haven't seen too many people break down mentally, a few physically. If you fail anything you get recycled which means you start all over.

Where you end up is all random. I ended up in 5-15 CAV Charlie Company 1st Platoon, "Hell Raiser Recon." Apparently the most brutal of all the CAV companies. Every night when I do get to go to bed I feel like I've been kicked by a mule.

So far, we've been issued our M-16. That's about it. Mostly we just carry them everywhere. You don't really get much time to write. You don't get shit for phone time and there's definitely no PC mail. I'm glad this is only temporary. There should be some fun stuff coming up, but I think the BS will be there till I leave Ft. Knox.

I picked my wish-list* which is crap. You only get 2, 1 overseas and one here. Not 3 of each like the recruiter tells you. I should have picked Hawaii or Italy just for the hell of it, but I chose Alaska and Ft. Lewis, Washington.

I don't regret anything even as fucking crazy as this place is and how much crazier it will get. I look forward to my future in the Army, but I really am fried. I miss home. I miss my own bed, my own space, the ability to do whatever whenever I want, but when I get that back I know I will appreciate it more. I really miss the dogs and wish I could have some phone time to know everything back home is good. Would make me feel a whole lot better. Well, I've gotta get to sleep. Hope to talk to some of you soon.

~Justin
PS - Make sure Mom gets this so she knows I'm good.

*For future station.

January 21st, 2009

2009-01-21T17:50:00.000-06:00

OK, so just sitting here on guard duty at 2300 hours. What a long day. Tomorrow will be even worse. We're not even in BCT but we're trying to get our shit together so that we can ship Friday with everyone else. I seriously hope we do. If we don't, I'll be here in this limbo for another month. I know two people here that already know they aren't going Friday. Such total BS. My BP became an issue again, but I took it today and it was 126/83 at the dentist. I hope that's good enough. It sucks you get soft sitting here. Not running, not shit, what a stinking joke. It makes me mad not being able to go outside for PT and running.

We've got our PT test tomorrow which sucks cause I haven't run at all in two weeks and on top of that, I'm now sick as fuck with the flu. So, now after not running 2 weeks I gotta run a mile in less than 8 minutes in the butt ass cold, with a sore throat. What a bitch. Hopefully nothing else pops up.

I've noticed most people here are totally full of shit. Rumors run rampant. I also feel like you sort of become numb or desensitized. You start to forget and just go with the masses and we're not even at BCT yet. I just want to get out of reception and start BCT. This all seems like a bit of a waste. The thought of being here another month is really messed up. On top of all this shit, I'm still worried about the dogs and the house.

January 17th, 2009

2009-01-17T17:33:00.000-06:00

Pretty much same shit different day. Sunday lots of guys go to church service. Those who don't clean. I cleaned. Now I am just taking time to write and watch. Tonight at 6 I have line of sight duty which means me and another have to guard the kid on suicide watch. God, this place is fucking weird. Apparently BCT is way worse and I bet it is. At least will be busy. Sometimes I wonder if it is all worth it. I keep telling myself it is and I will see that in the end. Besides, there is no way out now. I think they are quite a few people here asking themselves the same question. Everyone that said you will see every type here was 110% correct.

This place is sort of a cross between a minimum security prison and a friggin nut house. There are a few guys here that are going to do well. There's a lot that will struggle, a lot of serious immaturity in most but definitely not all. To keep busy in free time you can sleep, write, read or do PT (sit-ups, push-ups, etc.). A lot of guys complain about pulling duty. I like it. It keeps me busy. Today I got: clean the stairwell, suicide watch and at 3am - 4am I got door guard. Wake up tomorrow is 0500. 0545 is accountability or some shit. We do that at least 3xs a day. I hope to God I get to go to BCT on Friday. I don't want to be a hold over. I would be here for another 20+ days and do this with whole different group. How fucked would that be?

I'm still nervous about BCT, but at least I'll be moving forward. Found out today; if you pass AIT with 100%, you get EIC which is excellence in Cavalry. I highly doubt that to be possible, but it's something to shoot for. I know I would do well in marksmanship. 95% of these guys talk about they can't wait to shoot. Then will proceed to tell you all about rifles and ballistics and shit. Well not really ballistics. They don't know that shit and that's it when you listen to them. It's like everything they know about marksmanship came from video games or TV shows. I'm sure they'll learn but I am way out in front on the power curve there. The other thing I can't figure our is how so many out of shape fuckers there are here. Maybe like 20-25%. I need to go to the PX. I need cloths bad. My shorts smell like BO bad.

The other thing is I've been told you may or may not be able to get a watch. I really need one bad. Beither wihtout a personal time piece is ridiculous.

I'm not really homesick. I just wish I knew if everything was going well at home. I know it should be and probably is. I just wish I knew how the dogs were doing, and knew that the house is good. It's not like missing your girlfriend. It's more like having everything that is important to you completely out of your control. No No way of knowing if it's good or not and no way to fix it even if it was or is bad. And knowing it's going to stay that way for a while. Well the not knowing for a while and not being able to do anything for a long while.

Man, oh, man.

January 16th, 2009

2009-01-16T17:15:00.000-06:00

7 am - Just sitting here in the Boise airport, the plane leaves at 8:30. What a trip this is. It sort of feels almost surreal. It's sort of nice being able to know everything is out of my control and I'm just mindlessly going along with what ever happens. I still have mixed emotions about BCT. I'm extremely excited and at the same time quite nervous. The future just seems to be one endless possibility at this point. I worry about about what all I've left behind but slowly am coming to terms with the fact it's all out of my control at this point and just trying to put it out of my mind and enjoy the whole experience. Besides, the only 3 things that really matter are taken care of. Camas - Bear - Cotton I do miss them already, but I know they're going to be just fine. I already look forward to seeing them again and it's only been one day.

Had lunch at the O'Hare airport. Get to sit here for about 3 hours. Should get to Louisville about 6 pm. I have no idea what I'm in for. I guess I'll see when I get there. All O'Hare is is tens of thousands of moving sea of people. Different languages and colors and shapes and sizes. Quite interesting. Same old guy in the restaurant decided he would tell me about his time in the Greek Army. Nice fellow. Couldn't spend all the military check on food and figured I didn't want to get too wasted so I gave him an $8 tip. It's not like I could have spent it so whatever.

Got to Ft. Knox about 9 pm. What a fucking trip. I can't even explain how fucked up it is. We're not even in BCT yet and you are constantly getting yelled at and told what to do, how to do it, when to do it. The worst part is not being able to understand what the DTs are saying. They ask if you understand; then everyone yells "yes, drill sergeant." half of them don't. Eating is a major operation. That's when I got chewed the first time for trying to pick up a glass. Everything is all regimented. It's really fucking trippy. We got in on Friday night so we can't process till Tuesday thanks to MLK day. Some of us have been wearing the same shit for three days.

I guess I am lucky though. Some guys have been here almost a month. BCT starts Friday (next) if there's too many to fit in they hold you over. Then you're fucked. Like there are 200 kilos. Some wait. There are only like 40-50 Deltas. Hopefully I'll be okay to go. Somethings they don't tell you. Like if you fuck up they can cut your pay. Other things like if your teeth are bad they can fuck you over once you're here. One guy, they pulled all his teeth and gave him dentures but he's so fucked he gets held over. Another guy who came in on our bus is on suicide watch. Watched another guy almost choke to death at chow on a piece of chicken.

January 15th, 2009

2009-01-15T17:07:00.000-06:00

@ 8:25 I swore into the Army for real. I guess I'm on the clock now. I was reminded of the UCMJ and told that I now represent the US Army; act like it and don't forget it. Without even having gone to BCT there is a certain sense of pride that oges with just the knowing.

Last night was a big sleepless night. I used the scale at the hotel gym and weighed 215 pounds. I almost got sick. I stripped down to my boxers right there and weighed 210. I was sicker. I checked the scales with different gym weights and it verified that it should be correct. My heart sank. I figured they could just do a BMI, but at 210 that might not go over so well either. I knew I would be weighted at MEPS on the 15th and if I was over I was totally FUCKED.

Waiting to get on the scales my head was spinning. I got on and prayed for any weight under 200 (my magic number - the one I can't go over or I would have been rejected). It was 195 but I figured at least under 200, I stood a chance with the BMI and on the gym scales that morning I was 203-205. Nervously I got on and watched the digital counter go up, up, up 170-180-190-191-92-93-94-94.1-.2-.3-.4 and then it STOPS! Oh my God what a great relief. That fucking gym scale is a lying piece of shit and cost me a whole night's sleep.

From here on out weight shouldn't be much of an issue. Well, I'll write again when I get to Chicago or maybe Louisville.